The Hardest Goodbyes
by LucyIntheSkywithWriting123
Summary: Saying goodbye to her family never gets easier. One-shot (for now?)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! I've been thinking about writing this one-shot for a little while, so here we are! Hope you enjoy. Let me know in the comments what you think, and/or if I should add a second part. As for my other story, I'm struggling to write it, but it is being written! Thanks for reading** **J**

* * *

Santana places her checking bag by the front door. She puts her hands on her hips, as she examines everything she has packed. Her eyes her minimal amount of items, while she mentally goes through her checklist. Lost in her thoughts, she doesn't hear the sound of footsteps approach, and startles at the hand placed gently on her lower back.

"Ah, Jesus Britt. You scared." Santana rests her hand on her heart to stop the rapid beating. Brittany leans down slightly and plants a chaste kiss on Santana's cheek. Brittany places both arms around Santana, giving her a hug from behind. Santana spins in Brittany's arms, placing her arms around the blonde's neck giving her a tight hug.

"Sorry, baby. I should've known better." Brittany whispers into Santana's ear. Santana pulls back, a small smile on her face as she shakes her head. Brittany brings one hand up and gently smooths her thumb over her dimple, placing another kiss there.

"It's ok, honey. I'm working on it." They hug again, lingering for a moment before they pull back. Brittany's eyes shine with tears, but her beautiful smile is ever present.

"Are you ready to say goodbye?" Brittany asks quietly, hoping to broach the topic of departure, and 'see you later' as painlessly as possible. Santana sighs deeply, her face immediately contorting to sadness as the reality of their situation sets in. She nervously sweeps a hand through her hair as she nods her head 'yes'. Brittany takes Santana's chin between her thumb and forefinger, tenderly forcing her wife to look her in the eyes.

"We take the good with the bad, remember? You can do this. It'll be a hard 12 months, but I have all the confidence in the world that you'll come home to us. Then we get you for good." Brittany tries her hardest to be as fearless as possible, knowing Santana is wildly stressed, and undoubtedly scared. She has to be the faith Santana needs so she can get through this, and come back home safely to her family.

"Where are the troopers? Is Quinn still mad?" Santana looks behind Brittany, checking to see if there are any prying eyes, and snooping ears in the area. She cracks a smile remembering the 'book' Rachel gave her to read on the plane to Kuwait. The book handmade, and explaining all the reasons she is the best mama in the world, and a true hero. All in the words of a 6 year old, but a smart one at that.

"She's scared. They all are. Quinn just understands much better what's going on. But, she's so proud of you. You should hear the way she talks about you to her friends, and her teachers." Brittany's eyes glow with admiration, remembering the words of the teacher, at parent-teacher conferences. Quinn gave a lovely, praise filled presentation on her mama. Explaining her job as an trauma surgeon in the army, stationed at the time in Afghanistan on her second tour. "She'll come around. She's just more guarded than Rachel." Brittany takes Santana's hand in hers and kisses her knuckles. She leads her to the stairs to go and find their three children.

"I know. I hate how hard this is on them. I'm missing Blaine's third birthday, Rachel's seventh, our big girl is turning thirteen, and I won't be home for Christmas. I'm so sorry Britt, I really am." Her voice cracks as the extent of her departure weighs heavily on her heart. It's not the first time she's left, but with each tour, the time away from her family never gets easier. The guilt floods her every time she walks away from her family at the airport, all eyes bloodshot, and cheeks stained with tears. "I do this for them. I really hope they know that and grow to appreciate it in the future. Maybe they won't hate me as much when they realize that I've always wanted what's best, even if it means I can't be there a lot of the time." She swipes at the two tears that drip down her face. She takes a deep breath in as they hit the top step. She comes to a stop and looks Brittany in the eye.

"What do you need from me Britt? I'm not the only one that this whole trip is affecting. How can I support you? Even from a million miles away." She caresses Brittany's hands with her thumbs, the smooth skin of her hands sending shivers down Santana's spine. She memorizes every crease, wrinkle and feeling of her loves fingers, while she looks expectantly at the blue eyes in front of her. Taking in those gorgeous baby blues, as she commits to memory every aspect of Brittany's face.

"I just need you to come home to me, safe and sound. I'll take care of the rest from here. I want – no, I need you to make it back alive, so I can have you as my forever. Got it?" She puts out her hand, and Santana cheekily shakes it, a laugh bubbles from her chest at the cute gesture.

"You got it Cap!" She playfully salutes her wife, and Brittany gives her a sweet peck on the lips.

"I also need you to go wake up our brooding pre-teen, a hard task in and of itself. I got the other two." With one last lingering kiss to her lips, Santana turns around to enter the room. Brittany slaps her ass loudly and Santana squeals. She turns to look at Brittany who is walking down the hall, giggling quietly to herself.

* * *

Santana enters the room, and smirks at the lump that rests underneath a pile of blankets. She tip-toes her way into the room, settling on the side of the bed as lightly as possible. She gently pulls back the blanket to reveal a sleeping blonde. The light from the sun hitting the almost thirteen year old in a way that makes her look much younger. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are swollen, a sure sign that she had cried herself to sleep the night prior. Santana feels the guilt wash over her like a tidal wave. She bends down, and tenderly places kiss after kiss on the younger blondes head, the young girl's eyes fluttering slightly at the feeling. Santana rubs her hand up and down Quinn's back as she slowly tries to rouse the girl from her slumber.

"It's time to wake up, my sweet girl. We have to eat breakfast and then hit the road." She continues to her soft ministrations, as Quinn groans unwelcomely. She jerks her head away, and moves her body in the opposite direction from Santana, almost shunning her in a way. Santana looks up to the ceiling, trying helplessly to stop herself from breaking down in front of her child. The actions of the girl in front of her doing little to stop the flow of emotion on the surface trying to break through. She places one last kiss on the back of Quinn's head, and rubs her hand up and down her back a final time.

"Food will be ready in a few minutes, mommy is making chocolate chip pancakes, and bacon." She waits for a response after mentioning Quinn's favorite food, but inevitably doesn't receive one. "Please be downstairs in 10 minutes, baby." She waits for any signal from Quinn that she's going to respond. "I love you, honey." She gets up from the bed and walks over to the door. She takes a final glance at Quinn, and sighs quietly.

She shuts the door as carefully as possible, the door clicking shut behind her. She puts her back to the door, and slides down. She brings her knees to her chest, and rests her head on them as the tears from before fall silently down her cheeks. She gives herself a few minutes to cry, before she takes a deep breath in, wipes her face and dries her eyes. She walks into the bathroom splashes water on her face and gives herself a fake smile in the mirror. She can't freak her kids out with tears, and a despondent appearance on her last day home for a year. She leaves the bathroom, and makes her way to the kitchen, the fake smile from before plastered on her face as she goes to greet the rest of her family.

* * *

For her part, Quinn is doing everything in her power to not interact with her mom. She wants so badly to hold her, and beg her not to leave but she's so damn angry. She knows it's not her mom's fault, that she can't control when she's deployed, or for how long. That doesn't stop the sadness and bitterness she feels towards her job. The displaced anger at her mama, is more so fear of losing her forever. She knows what happens in the army, she's had friends who parents hadn't come back. The thought of never seeing her mama again makes her pull away even harder. The conflicting emotions of wanting to hold on tight, but pushing away makes the twelve year old nauseous. She doesn't know what to feel, but the easiest emotion she can decipher and deal with is anger. So that's the one she's going with for the day.

She slowly rises from the bed, and grabs the brush from her nightstand. She brushes her hair gingerly, as she weighs the pros and cons of staying in her room, begging her mom to let her stay home from taking Santana to the airport. The idea of not seeing her mama off giving her the urge to cry but watching her mama leave on that plane and possibly dying really does a number on her stomach. Each thought causing it to flip and twist before she has to stop or else she might vomit on her carpet.

She places the brush back down, and walks over to the closet. She picks her outfit for the day and slips it on as she decides what shoes to wear. The ones Santana and her bought together, on their bi-weekly 'mama-daughter' day, the perfect shoes to wear for the occasion. She may be ferociously mad at the situation, but if one small action can make her mama happy, then she'd do anything to see her smile.

She leaves her room, the mess in her room and unkempt bed will probably earn her a scolding when they get back from dropping Santana off. She brushes her teeth quickly, before she slowly makes her way down to the kitchen. She doesn't know why she feels so nervous. She slips into the kitchen quietly, unheard as the sound of loud, happy singing surrounds her. Her younger sister Rachel taking the solo, as they all belt out the words to _Don't Stop Believing_. Her mom playing air guitar as her mama dramatically lets loose on the air drum set. Her baby brother Blaine laughing maniacally at the antics of his family, not sure what's going on, but loving the music and laughter surrounding him.

It takes a minute or two for the family to be alerted of Quinn's presence. "Good morning, sleeping beauty! We're glad you decided to make an appearance!" Brittany's exclaims excitedly. She claps her hands together, a little bit of batter getting on her face from the spatula in her hand.

"Mommy, you're getting pancake all over you!" Rachel laughs behind her hand. Santana coming up behind her little brunette to tickler her sides. The young girl giggling uncontrollably at the action. "mama stop! I'm gonna pee!" Her face flushed with happiness.

"You gotta say it for me to stop! Say uncle, Rachel." Santana doesn't stop as Rachel is practically falling off the chair laughing so hard. Blaine slams his hands down on his high chair, as he pretends to play along.

"Uncle, mama. I say uncle!" Santana removes her hands, putting them up in a defensive pose, as if she wasn't just tickle attacking Rachel. Quinn chuckles lightly beside her mama and sister. Santana turns her attention to her younger blonde and smirks. Her eyebrow goes up in a challenge as she stalks closer to Quinn. The blonde inching away as she sees the daring look in Santana's eyes.

"And what's so funny, miss grumpy guts? Huh? You think I'm not gonna getcha?" She puts her hands out to start tickling Quinn, who practically falls off the chair in attempt to avoid the diabolical fingers of her mother. She nearly sprints over to Brittany, using her mom as a shield to prevent the attack from her mama. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Santana declares deviously, as she makes her way back to her seat at the island. Brittany gives Quinn a kiss on the head, as she peaks out behind her mom. Making sure that Santana has fully gone back to her seat before she makes her way to where she is sitting.

"Who's ready for breakfast? I made everyone's favorite." Brittany places a plate in front of each person. "Quinn, honey, can you grab a few cups and utensils please?' Quinn nods compliantly, avoiding eye-contact with her mama again, as she makes her way to the cabinets. For a few moments she'd forgotten everything she had been feeling, but it all came tumbling back down as the energy in the room dissipated slightly for breakfast.

"Bon appetite!" Brittany says happily, she sits down on the chair besides Blaine, cutting his pancakes into small pieces as the boy dances buoyantly in his seat. Chocolate chip pancakes a universal favorite in the Lopez-Pierce household. Quinn places her set of utensils down, and stares at her food hard. Her feelings of anger hitting her full force as she realizes this is the last breakfast with her mama for a whole year. She feels the dark, painful sting of tears in her eyes, but refuses to let them fall as she unyieldingly cuts her breakfast up. Santana notices from the corner of her eye, but decides to let her child be in her feelings, not wanting to spoil the happy morning everyone had been enjoying.

"Rachel, baby, I swear you get more food on your face than in your mouth." Santana chuckles freely. Rachel looks up at her moms, her face covered in chocolate and syrup, her eyes shining brightly as she tries to lick the remnants of her breakfast off her face. She goes back to 'eating' her food, and does a dramatic show of the food making it into her mouth and not just on her face. Santana takes a napkin and lightly dips it into the water, and moves to clean Rachel's face off. The young girl leaning into her mama's touch.

"Thank you, mama." Rachel says softly. She wraps a small arm around Santana, and leans her head on her shoulder. Santana kisses the crown of her head, holding her for a moment before she releases the young girl. Quinn looks out from the side of her eye, at the display of affection. She wants her mom to hold her too, but she knows if her mom even so much as touches her she'll lose it. The _least_ she can do to make it easier is keep it together, at least until she is alone.

"Me too mama. Hug me too, mama!" Blaine chants gleefully. His hands coming down on the high chair table to get everyone's attention. Santana stands from her seat and comes down behind him.

"You want a hug, my little man?" He nods his head enthusiastically, as Santana showers kisses all over his face. "I think kisses are even better! What do you think Blaine you like my kisses?" She plants baby smooches all over his chubby cheeks, and forehead. Leaving no piece of his face untouched.

"Kiss more! More kisses mama!" He yells. She lifts him from the high chair and gently shakes him in the air as he roars in laughter. She gives him another round of kisses, leaving loud smacks after each other. She puts him on her hip for a moment, giving him a tight hug. He wiggles incessantly, as he tried to get out of his mamas grip. She sniffles for a second, before she pulls back and gives him a final kiss. She places him back in the high chair, his little feet swinging as he happily eats a piece of pancake Brittany holds up for him.

Brittany reaches out the hand not in use, to grab Santana's as she gives her a quick kiss on her knuckles. Santana bowing her head slightly at the action. Rachel puts her arm around her mama again to offer her more comfort.

Quinn feels the anger bubble in her chest, the whole situation making her irrationally mad. She abruptly gets up from her seat, the chair scrapping the floor, as the utensils clang on her plate from dropping them. "I'm full. I'll be upstairs if you need me." Before anyone can answer, or excuse her, she bolts from the room. She takes the stairs two-by-two to get as far away from everyone as possible. The whole family watches her leave. Rachel looks up at Santana sad, and confused as she feels the pain radiating off her sister in waves. Brittany moves to stand up and confront their daughter, but Santana stops her, taking her hand in her own.

"Give her a minute to calm down. She's overwhelmed and scared." Santana says gently. Brittany nods, but doesn't respond. She continues to feed Blaine, the air in the room shifting gravely, the tension rising as everyone silently finishes their breakfast. The proceedings of the day on the forefront of everyone's minds.

* * *

Brittany stacks the empty plates up, as Santana cleans Blaine's face. Tickling his neck as she wipes the chocolate and syrup from his lips. Rachel stands at Santana's side, leaning against her hip, the closeness helping her to feel more at ease. Brittany places the dirty plates in the sink, to be washed later and walks over to her kids and wife. She lifts Blaine from the chair, placing him on the floor. She ruffles Rachels hair gently, and smooths it back out, running her fingers through her soft locks.

"Rachel, honey, why don't you and Blaine go watch a little TV in the living room. Pick out a movie. Mama and I are gonna go talk to Quinn." Rachel grabs Blaine's hand and makes her way to the living room. Before she steps over the threshold, she lets go and walks back over to her mom. She lifts her arms up, almost in demand of a hug. Santana kneels down to Rachels height, and puts her arms around her waist, as Rachel settles her arms around Santana's neck.

They stay like that for a minute, Santana caressing Rachels hair, and her daughter buries her face in her neck. She feels the wetness of tears on her shoulder and pulls back slightly. She takes the small face in her hands and uses her thumbs to wipe away Rachel tears. Rachel places her head back down on her mama's shoulder, the comfort both protecting her and making her cry. She doesn't know how she can go a year without her hugs.

"I'm really gonna miss you mama. I love you a lot." Rachel says almost inaudibly. Santana pulls Rachel back gently so she can look her in the eye.

"I know, baby. But we can do this. I know we can. Because we're the Lopez-Pierce's and we can do anything. And _when_ I come back – because I will be back, you bet your little butt I expect all the snuggles, cuddles, hugs, kisses, songs, dances; you name I want it from you! You got it?" Rachel nods her head earnestly, and gives her mom a kiss. She turns around to join Blaine in the living room, Santana patting her bottom encouragingly.

"You ready Britt?" Santana rises to her full height, and shakes her head to try and rid the thoughts of sadness, and helplessness. She needs to be strong for her kids and wife. Brittany takes her hand, giving her the strength she needs to talk to Quinn. They anticipate the conversation to be terse.

Walking hand in hand, Brittany and Santana make their way to their eldest daughters room, the door slightly ajar, as she didn't fully close it in her rush from breakfast. Brittany pokes her head into the room, knocking on the door softly as she does. She doesn't get any response from Quinn who is laying down with her back towards from the door. They enter the room, Santana slightly trailing behind Brittany as they go to sit on the bed.

Quinn shifts from her position, sitting up with her knees to her chest and her head resting on her knees. Santana smooths her hand down Quinn's back, feeling the younger blonde stiffen from the contact. She pushes a lock of hair that had fallen behind Quinn's ear, and moves her hand down her face to trace the profiles of her cheek. She places a chaste kiss on Quinn's head before she scooches closer to Quinn to wrap her arms around her.

Quinn sits limply in her mom's arms, the feeling of her being near her both ripping her apart but keeping her together.

"Love bug, we need to talk." Brittany starts first. Quinn looks over to her mom, shifting up from her spot so she can actually look at her. She sighs heavily, but nods her head in concession. "Bub, we know you're scared, and sad and probably very angry, about mama leaving. But we really need you to talk to us." They both look at Santana, Brittany gives her a small smile. Quinn looks down at her hands as she wrings them out in front of her.

"I'm scared too. But I'm mostly devastated that I'll be gone for so long. I think the most important thing I want you to know is, is that I'm doing this to help keep you safe. The sacrifice I make by not getting to be with you guys every day, is so I can keep you, mommy your brother and sister and the rest of our country protected. I know you know that." Santana exhales, unhappy with her explanation.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I understand why you feel the way you do. You have every right to be upset, and angry, mad at me or my job or the world, but you need to know I don't do this job lightly. You understand how important this job is, I know you do." She takes another deep breath, and looks Quinn directly in the eye "Never forget that I do it all for you kids. And I will do everything in my power to come home to you all."

Quinn nods her head again, tears sliding down her nose, she tries hard to not let her face crumple completely, she wants to keep it together.

"I just don't want you to die." She cries quietly. Santana places her head on Quinn's, Brittany moves closer to the both of them to hold them. "Hannah's daddy was deployed, and he didn't come back. And I know you've come back every time, but what if this time is different? What if you get killed? Who will make my bacon the right way, or scare all the boys away? You won't be here for my junior dance, or for my graduation from 8th grade. I don't want you to go mama! Please don't leave me." The previous slow tear pick up the pace as Quinn crumbles under her moms' arms. She gasps for air as her body trembles from the sheer force of her sobs. Santana takes her baby into her arms, rocking the small girl, Brittany holding the both of them.

Santana whispers as much reassurance as she can, as she tries her hardest not to cry with her daughter. She knows she can't guarantee a safe return, and while she also knows all possible measures to keep everyone safe is taken, shit does still happen, and people even–trauma surgeons like herself– are still in danger. Brittany is at a loss for words, because she feels the same way. Being outwardly supportive is easier when she actively tries to not remind herself of the risk of Santana's job. So she holds them both, and hopes that her arms provide comfort to her two hurting loves.

"I know baby, I know how hard it is. But every single possible safety measure is taken when it comes to keeping us safe. I won't deny that crazy things don't happen, and that there isn't a risk when it comes to being deployed, but I can promise you that I will try my very, very hardest to make it home to you guys. I love you all way too much to not come back." She snuggles Quinn further into her chest, the young blonde still heaving violently. The force of her sobs subsiding slightly.

"And while I'm gone, I _know_ you have the absolute best person in your corner. Mommy will keep you safe, just like my buddies will keep me safe. She'll love you enough for the both of us– hell she'll love you enough for me, her and everyone in the world combined." She pulls Quinn away from her somewhat to look at her in her eyes. "we'll talk as much as I can. I'll email you, and send you pictures and letters and we can skype sometimes. Before you know I'll be home, annoying you and your siblings again soon. Ok, baby?" Quinn moves her head back to her mom's chest, but nods in acceptance.

"Ok, mama. I love you so much." She mumbles. Brittany strokes Quinn's hair putting multiple kisses on the back of her hair.

"I love you more, my angel." They all hold each other for a few more minutes before Quinn extracts herself from her mama's arms. Santana gets up from the bed, and smooths out her shirt. She wipes Quinn's face with her hands, and pats down her hair.

"Go wash your face, baby girl, then meet us downstairs. We have to leave soon." Brittany says gingerly. She places a final kiss on Quinn's cheek, who complies with Brittany's request. She leaves the room, both moms watching her as she goes. Brittany takes Santana into her arms, as she shutters under Brittany's hold.

"If _that_ was the home goodbye, imagine what the actual one at the airport is going to be like." Santana chuckles humorlessly. She buries her face in Brittany's neck, who holds her tighter never wanting to let go. They release their hold from each other and make their way downstairs to get ready to leave for the airport.

* * *

Brittany pulls the car up to the parking spot in the garage, her and Santana exit the car and both make their way to the trunk. Rachel and Quinn get out of the car, coming up behind their moms to help them hold stuff.

"It's ok, baby. Go take Blaine from his seat, the girls and I got it." Brittany says. Rachel nods enthusiastically behind her, and Quinn gives her mama a thumbs up. Santana makes her way to the passenger side of the car, opening the door to a passed out Blaine. She giggles lightly at his opened mouth, and chin full of drool, her eyes getting misty thinking about not being able to see this for a year. She unbuckles his car seat and as gently as possible takes him into her arms.

He settles his head on her shoulder, his arms coming to rest around her neck as she dozes back into a deep sleep. She rubs his back soothingly, lovingly running her fingers through his messy hair. She sings a quiet lullaby into his ear, and rocks him gently. Brittany shuts the door to the trunk, Santana's carryon in her arms as Quinn pulls the suitcase behind her. Santana comes up next to Brittany and takes her free hand, their two kids flanking on either side of them grabbing onto their arms.

They enter into the airport, right before security, the three of them standing by the kiosk to check Santana's bag. She places the tag on her carry-on, and puts it on the moving conveyor belt. With her bag checked, and her carryon in Brittany's arms, the last thing she needs to do is say goodbye.

She snuggles Blaine even closer to her chest, his goodbye the easiest, as his perception of time is slightly limited. She kisses his face, over and over again, smelling his hair, and remembering the soft feel of his baby skin.

"I love you, my sweet boy. I'll miss you, so much but I know your mommy is gonna take the best care if you ever." She plants one last big kiss on his face, and she hands him over to Brittany. She kneels down to Rachels level, taking the little girl into her arms.

Rachel looks up to Santana, her eyes already bloodshot, as she wraps her arms around her mama hard. She cuddles into her chest, and takes a deep breath in.

"Please come home, mama. Ok? There are so many songs we have to sing together. So you have to come home. Ok?" The words come out muffled from her position in her mom's arms. Santana nods her head, giving Rachel the same treatment of kisses as she did to Blaine.

"I'll do my very, very best, just for you guys." She sniffles, and wipes her eyes discreetly. She pulls back to look at Rachel, using her thumb to wipe her tears. "You watch out of your sister for me, ok? You're my big, strong, oh so very talented girl. Never ever forget how proud I am of you ok. Please never stop being the kind, generous and sweet as the most delicious cotton candy–that I know mommy sneaks you at night– girl I know." They both giggle at the admission, Brittany rolls her eyes but doesn't disagree.

"I'll still be all those things when you come home, just hopefully a few inches taller." She says cheekily. Santana laughs a real laugh for the first time since their morning.

"I don't even want you to get taller. I love my little baby at this height. You're the perfect height for hugs!" She takes Rachel back into her arms, rocking her again as she nuzzles Rachel's hair. They break apart and Rachel reaches up to Santana's cheek to wipe the remainder of tears.

"I love you so much, I don't think you'll ever know how much you mean to me." Santana say's passionately.

"I love you too mama, so much! Thank you for being the best mama in the world, and for helping keep us safe, even if it does hurt when you're gone." Santana gives her a final hug, Rachel retreating back to her mom, burying her body into Brittany's side as she cries.

Santana stands up to her full height, Quinn stepping a few feet closer, almost nervously as she gets ready to say her goodbye. Santana wraps her arms around Quinn, her head coming up to her mama's chest. She presses the side of the face into her mama, as she holds her tightly. Santana runs her hand up and down Quinn's hair, the two of the, holding each other for a moment before the release.

"I will do my very, very best– as I said to Rachel, to make my way back home to you. I am so proud of you Quinn, the woman you are, and the woman I know you're going to be. I'm in awe of your strength, and resilience, you truly amaze me." Quinn looks up to her mama, tears leak out of her face, but she's determined not to sob.

"It's ok to cry, my sweet girl." She takes Quinn back into her arms, who cries quietly her resolve weakening.

"Mama, I'm really proud of you too. I get to tell the whole world that you're protecting our country and that's pretty cool. Thank you." Quinn sniffles, she doesn't bother to wipe her face, as she knows she won't stop crying for a little while.

"You really are incredible Quinn." She rocks her baby in her arms for a few more moments, both holding on tightly, committing everything about each other to memory. Quinn lets go first, and Santana strokes her cheek, place a kiss to each cheek, her forehead and her nose.

"I love you baby, I love you so much." Quinn walks back to Brittany, who had moved away slightly to give Santana space to say goodbye, without feeling encroached upon. She takes Blaine from her moms, Brittany's arms falling limply at her sides Santana's departure hits her like a ton of bricks.

"baby, can you go take Rachel and Blaine to the café over there?" She hands Quinn $20, who gladly accepts the change, taking her little sisters hand in her own. They walk over to the café and sit down, watching their moms' from afar. Blaine drowsy in Quinn's arms, Rachel basically attached to her hip.

"Santana, I'm telling you right now, you need to come home. I cannot do this without you. Please come home to me baby, please. I need you." They embrace each other, holding on to dear life for what could be more than a year without physical contact.

"You need to promise me that you will make it home. The kids need their mama, and I need you by my side. Santana, I can't– I don't– I won't do this without you. Do you understand me." She takes Santana's head into her hands, forcing eye contact. Santana bows her head, the words about to leave her mouth tasting foul.

"Britt, you know I can't promise you anything. I will try my best, honey. I promise to do whatever I can to make it home. Anything to be close to you again" She says regretfully. Brittany shakes her head, the tears coming out in a steady flow, her nose running and face flushed.

"That's not good enough. I need a solid promise that I'm not going to have to raise our babies alone. Please Santana, please. I'll get on my knees and beg, please baby, please." She wraps her arms around Santana again, feeling like an idiot for breaking down like this. She's supposed to be strong, keeping it together, reassuring her wife that they'll be together again soon. Rather, she's sobbing into her lovers arms begging her to come home to her safely.

"Brittany, I'm so sorry. I'll try my hardest, and very best to come home. Baby, you have my word that I will never leave you, or our precious kids without a fight." She places kiss after kiss on Brittany's lips, their tears mingling with each peck.

"I love you Santana. I love you times infinity. You are my world, and I am so proud to stand by you and be your wife. You truly inspire me every day." They hold each other, standing there for moments before they break apart. Santana beckons the kids over the wave of her hand, the kids speed walking to her.

"Brittany, you and our kids are the light of my life. Thank you, thank you for making me so happy and giving me the chance to love you. I love you, more than words." Rachel latches onto Santana side, giving her one last hug, Santana kneeling down slightly to place a series of kisses over her face and whisper her words of love.

She kisses Quinn all over again, her eldest shying away slightly from the affection, but grinning at her mom. She moves to the last of her kids, Blaine who sits awake in Brittany's arms. His smile infectious as he wiggles around to move into Santana's arms. She takes him into her arms tickling him mercilessly, before she showers their baby with love. She gives him back to Brittany, and picks up the duffle at her feet. Blaine whines in protest, stretching his arms back to Santana to hold him.

"Alright my beautiful family, I will try and call as soon as I can. I love you all so much, you're more world, and I will see you all later." She starts to walk away, keep her front towards her family as she waves goodbye, and blows kisses to them.

"Bye mama! We love you. I love you! See you soon!" Rachel yells after her. She catches every kiss her mom sends, placing them in her pocket for when she misses her and wants a kiss.

"Bye mama, stay safe please! I love you." Quinn calls after her. She turns her attention away from her mama, her chest aching as she watches her walk away.

"Mama no! mama, mama come back. Mama NO! Mama please. Mama!" Blaine cries after her. His little fist balled into the air as he watches his mom walk away, not understanding why she was leaving them. He sobs after her, begging her to come back. Santana blows more kisses yells more love, and hopes that her family can hear her as she walks further away.

"Bye honey! I love you, I love you, I love you! Proudly so! Stay safe, baby." Brittany waves to Santana, blowing kisses in her direction as well. She takes Rachels hand in her own, and cuddles Blaine close to her chest, the little boy still crying.

"It's ok B! I'll take care you until mama comes home." Rachel tells him passionately. He looks down at her, nods his head, but doesn't stop crying. Quinn lifts Rachel into her arms– something she rarely does, and holds her close as the family of four walk to their car to leave the airport.

* * *

In her seat on the plane Santana sits with her head in her hands. She had tried so hard to hold it together for everyone. But the reality came crashing full force the moment she sat down. The picture of her family she keeps in her wallet, weathered in her hands as she holds them close to her chest, muffling the sound of her crying using her shoulder. She drifts off the sleep, her babies and beautiful wife on her mind. Only 365 days until she would see them again.

* * *

 **AN: Thank you guys for reading! Please reply and let me know what you think. If a lot you guys want a second part (homecoming?) I will definitely write it, but if it's not requested, or people aren't into this story than I can leave it at this! Also I apologize for the mistakes, i finished it pretty late so my proofreading is subpar. Thank you again for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello! I'm adding a second part to this story because a few people asked for it in the comments. Thank you for reading and I hope I do this story justice! Quick disclaimer: As I've stated (I think in a another story) I am absolute TRASH at dialogue so please forgive me.**

* * *

"Time to say bye to mama! We love you Santana. Can you say bye to mama, Blaine? Give her a huge kiss." Brittany stands Blaine up on her lap, the boy waving enthusiastically at the desktop computer where Santana's face is blown up all the way on Skype.

"Bye mama! I miss you, and I love you!" Blaine bounces in his spot, giving air kisses to the camera.

"By mama! I love you so much." Rachel yells happily. "See you soon, I miss you." She skips over the to the monitors camera, and places a kiss on it, making sure to smack her lips loudly so her mama can hear.

"I love you, my sweet babies. Be good for your mommy." Santana blows kiss after kiss into her camera, Rachel grabbing each one before anyone else can move to get them.

"Bye mama." Quinn says softly, the end of the skype date pushing her further into her shell. "I miss and love you. See you soon." She waves to the Santana. Brittany gives her a kiss, noticing the forlorn look on her face.

"Baby, can you take you brother and sister into the kitchen, I need to talk to your mama alone for a second." Quinn nods her head diligently, and takes her brother into her arms. Rachel latches onto her hand, talking a mile a minute as she explains why Santana is the greatest super hero. They exit the room, leaving Brittany and Santana alone.

"Santana, you're acting weird. They might not have noticed but I did. What's going on? Is everything ok? Are you alright?" She places her thumb nail in her mouth, chewing on it nervously. Santana takes a deep breath in, exhaling it loudly. She brings her fingers up to rub her eyes in exasperation.

"I'm so sorry, Britt. Please don't get mad." Santana says softly, her voice catching slightly.

"Santana, if you're about to say what I think you're going too, I'm going to get mad regardless. How long?" Santana doesn't respond, bringing her fingers up to her temple to try and stem the headache that has been slowly creeping up on her. "Santana, I'm not kidding here. How much fucking longer? Answer me." Brittany asks desperately. The imminent worry being taking over by the anger of their situation.

"2 more months." Santana says almost inaudibly. "Honey, I'm–"

Brittany cuts her off, her face red, fuming. "Is this a sick joke? Another 2 months on top of the month? So three more months. You're going to be gone for 15 months? I really hope that this is a pathetic, sick joke they're playing on you." Her eyes burn, the thought of not being able to kiss her love, hold her hand or even see her in person making Brittany shake uncontrollably.

"Honey, I'm so, so sorry. You know this isn't something I can control. Once I'm home, I'm home for good. You'll never lose me again." Santana tries to convey as much reassurance as she can through the computer screen.

"If you come home!" Brittany explodes. "Baby, I miss you. I need you. The kids need you." She begs her wife. The tears flowing down both of their cheeks. Brittany puts her head in her hands and cries.

"Please don't make me feel more guilty than I already do. Baby, I'm so sorry. I will make it home to you. I promise I will. I shouldn't promise something I can't guarantee, but I am making this promise to you. I will be home." She reaches a hand out to the screen to try and get Brittany's attention. She wants so badly to be there, to hold her wife in her arms and never let go. She wants to rock her babies to sleep, and kiss them goodnight, she wants all of it. But, she has a job to do, and a country to serve and unfortunately that means sacrificing what she wants.

"Baby, I-I-I'm so sorry, I don't want you to feel guilty. It's just been so hard. I'm sorry." Brittany sobs. "I'm so proud of you, I know you're doing something great, but I want to be selfish. I want you here with me." She tries and fails to wipe her eyes, her lips tremble as she struggles to stop crying.

Santana wants to stay and comfort her, but the sound of her name being called brings her away from her current situation. "Sweetheart, I have to go. I love you Brittany. I love you so much. You and those beautiful children are my world. I will come home to you. I promise Britt, with everything in me I will make it home. Tell the kids I love them more than anything in this world." Santana says passionately.

"Please don't make promises you can't keep." Brittany sighs. "I love you, darling. Stay safe, please call me when you can." She blows a kiss to Santana who catches it and places it on her lips. The computer shuts down, and Brittany is left alone like she has been for the past 11 months. She gets up from her seat, and paces for a moment. She needs to tell the kids, they deserve to know the truth, but it hurts so badly. She shakes out her hands, rubs her face and wipes her eyes.

She leaves the room, and goes into the bathroom to wash the tears off her face, her red eyes a give-away to the last few moments with her wife. She doesn't want to worry the kids, but she knows they'll be concerned when she goes to the kitchen. She leaves the bathroom and slowly makes her way to join the rest of her family.

* * *

Quinn, Rachel and Blaine sit on the couch, as they watch _Finding Nemo_ Quinn not paying attention as her thoughts drift to the private conversation between her two moms'. It seems Rachel is in the same state of mind when she pokes Quinn in the shoulder, her face giving away the fear she feels inside.

"Quinn, what are they talking about? Do you think something happened to mama?" Rachel asks skeptically. She sidles closer to Quinn who wraps her arms around Rachel in comfort. She doesn't want to lie to her little sister, but she also can't divulge the whole truth to her either. She knew something was up when they were talking to their mama. She seemed nervous, and distracted. She didn't say anything as to not scared her siblings, but she noticed her mama acting weird. She had a faint idea of what it could be, pushing it to the back of her mind. The thought of having to wait a longer amount of time to see her mama making her chest ache with sadness and anger.

"We can ask mommy when she comes downstairs. I'm sure it fine." Quinn smiles down at her sister, trying hard to convince her not to worry. Rachel doesn't look persuaded, she's knows when she's being lied too, but decides to not push the issue. Quinn is right, she can ask their mom when she comes down stairs.

A few moments later Brittany enters the room, her face puffy and her eyes red, all of which Quinn acknowledged she tried to hide. Quinn stands from her place on the couch, Rachel following right behind her.

"Are you guys ready for dinner? I'll make whatever you want. Or we can order pizza? It's your choice." She says softly to her kids. The offer of whatever dinner they want, she hopes could soften the blow of the news she's about to deliver.

"Mommy, what's wrong? Why were you crying. What happened to mama?" Rachel asks in rapid fire. Brittany takes Rachel into her arms, holding the girl close. She sits down on the couch, with Rachel in her lap. She pauses the TV, Blaine whining in protest, his eyes moving over to his mom and sisters. He looks confused, and hits his little fist down on the couch.

"Mommy, no! Turn it on. Please turn on!" Brittany moves Rachel over to one side of her lap so she can place Blaine on the other one. He struggles in her hold, the tension wildly palpable in the room putting him off.

"Mommy has to talk to guys about something." She starts off slowly. All eyes on her, as the notice the break in her voice, while she tries to keep herself together. She takes a deep breath, holding it for a second before she releases it. Rachel wraps an arm around her mom, trying to give her strength, as Quinn looks at her expectantly. She knows where this conversation is going.

"Mom, just say it." Quinn tells her quietly. "I know what you're going to tell us." She looks down at her lap and fidgets with her fingers.

"I don't know what she's going to say. Mommy, what's wrong." Rachel says hysterically to her mom. Brittany places a kiss on her head, lingering for a moment. Blaine whines in his mom arms, the somber feeling in the room making him uncomfortable.

"My darlings, you know how much mama loves you. She wants so badly to come home and hold you all, and kiss you and sing you sleep, but she's fighting for our country." Brittany doesn't even know where to begin this conversation. Her voice trembles slightly, as she looks for the words to continue.

"Mommy, we know all of this. What's wrong? Tell us what wrong! Please, mommy. Please." Rachel voices catches as the anxiety she feels skyrockets. Quinn takes her sisters hand into her own. Stroking the soft skin with her thumb. Rachel looks at her sister, then back at her mom, her face plastered with confusion. Blaine sticks his thumb in his mouth as his sisters anxiety washes onto him.

"Baby, mama has to stay in Kuwait for 3 more months." Quinn places her head down on her chest, heaving silently, as what she guesses is confirmed. She can't stop the crying, or the ache she feels in her chest at the news. Rachel gasps loudly ripping her hand away from Quinn, and scrambling off her mom. She feels all the air leave her lungs, and puts her hand on her chest. She shakes her head violently, refusing to accept the news. It's when her vision gets blurry and her breathing gets ragged does she fall to the floor in anguish.

For eleven months they've been without their mama. The woman who protects them, scares away the bullies and sings the silliest songs. She had her calendar all mapped out for when her mama came home. The aspect of waiting even longer, not getting to see her beloved mama for even longer not even a thought she can't comprehend. Her little 7 year old body shakes with the sheer force of her cries, she sinks down to the floor, burying her head into her knees as she tries to make herself as small as possible.

Seeing his sisters cry and his mom teary eyed, Blaine starts to sob loudly. Not completely understanding at all what is going on, but the fear radiating around the room controlling his emotions.

"Baby, can you take him for a second?" Brittany asks Quinn quietly. She passes the little boy into his sisters arms. Blaine fighting the move as he wants to be close to his mommy. He struggles in Quinn's arms, moving around and thrashing violently as he tries to break free. She holds him down, letting her mom comfort her baby sister who bawls loudly on the floor.

"Mommy no. Please. I want my mama. I want mama. Tell mama to come home. Tell her to say no. Tell her she needs to come home. I want my mama, I want mama." Rachel wails, almost incoherently. Brittany scoops her up into her arms, Rachel straddling her hips as she holds her close. She walks around the room, holding the child as one would a toddler. Rocking her and whispering to her to help her calm down.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. Mama will be home soon. You'll get to see her soon. She told me to tell you how much she loves you. How much you mean to her, and that she's so, so sorry she can't be with you." Brittany tries desperately to get Rachel to stop crying. Her baby girl shudders in her arms, her sobs not subsiding.

"I want mama. I really want my mama." She pleads. She starts to wheeze, as her crying turns into gasps for air.

"You need to breath, baby girl. Take a deep breath." She rubs Rachel's back, coaxing her into taking slow breaths. "There you go. Take another one. Shh, shh, shh. Just relax, mommy's here, I'm here and I'll take care of you. Just breath, baby. Just breath." Quinn looks at them from her spot on the couch, her eyebrows furrow as she watches her little sister breakdown furiously. She didn't expect her to take it so hard. They missed their mom a lot, but apparently Rachel wasn't letting on to exactly how she felt until this moment. She purses her lips in fear, and turns Blaine around to shield him from the show. He grabs onto her neck and cries into her shoulder.

"There you go baby. You're ok, it's going to be ok. I know, honey, I know. Just try and relax." A few more minutes of crying, Rachel's sobbing finally subsides to quiet sniffles as she latches onto her mommy tightly. Her hands linked around her neck and she hides her in between her neck and shoulder. Brittany takes her seat back on the couch, to explain the conversation she had with Santana. Rachel refusing to move and face everyone. Her body slumps, as the exhaustion of her crying hits her in full force. Brittany continues to rub her back, trying to relax the girl into a nap.

"Mama said to tell you she was sorry she couldn't be home on time. She loves you all with everything in her and she's so proud of you guys." Brittany starts off slowly. Quinn nods her head gently, but doesn't respond. Her natural instinct to retreat further into herself to deal with the stress of having her mom so far away. Brittany brings a hand up Quinn face to stroke her cheek, smoothing her hair down behind her ear.

"So, three more months then?" Quinn asks tentatively. She shakes her head for a moment, before she gives her mom an encouraging smile. She needs to be the strong one right now, especially after watching her sister react the way she did.

"Baby, it's ok to be upset. I'm really mad, and angry too. I miss your mama a lot." Brittany can see the fakeness on her face. The forced smile, and fear stricken eyes.

"I'm sad, but I'll be ok. Just as long as mama comes back home and doesn't leave us again." Quinn says solemnly. Brittany takes her hand to hold Quinn's. They share a smile, Quinn shifting closer to her mom, who wraps her arm around her younger blonde.

"Who's ready for dinner. I'm thinking pizza first, than ice cream sundaes? Hmm. Does that sound good. We can stop by the store and get all the toppings." Brittany tries to add a little joy to her voice, to help deplete the tension. Blaine perks up at the mention of his beloved ice cream. He nods his head enthusiastically, Quinn laughing at his actions. Rachel doesn't respond, just holds her mom tighter. Brittany stands up and grabs the home phone dialing the pizza parlors number which they have on speed dial.

She just knows that it is going to be another long three months.

* * *

"It's been really hot here. Think when we visited you gran and grampy in Arizona in the summer, and times that by 400, I've definitely been stinking up the bunks with my serious B.O. here." Brittany reads happily. Their letter from Santana arriving in the mail that day. The family of four sit around the couch listening as Brittany animatedly reads.

"And just as an ego boost and a friendly reminder for you all, everyone thinks I have the prettiest family. Obviously I have to remind them that you're more than just pretty, but it doesn't hurt to come from a family of lookers. Anyways! I miss you all so much, I love each and every one of you to the moon, the stars and back and then back again. I can't wait to see your sweet faces soon. Good night, or good morning!" Brittany folds the letter back up again, placing it in their letter box, where they keep anything and everything Santana had ever sent to them. She smiles at her babies who look at her with bright eyes.

The past month had been brutal. From dramatic temper tantrums, to sleepless nights, regressions in her all of her kids. That's not to say that it hadn't been that way in the past, but news of having to wait longer to see their mama, triggering the kids into a fearful, and stressed out emotional state. Each time she has to drops her kids at school a fight and of itself. Watching Rachel whine and cry as she leaves her in the classroom– something she had never done prior. Or when Quinn refuses to go to sleepovers, because being away from her family makes it too hard to sleep at night. Blaine sucking his thumb, and wetting the bed. All of it so hard on the blonde, she doesn't know where she finds the strength

Until, she sees her kids smiles or laugh at something their mama sends them. When they play board games together or watch a movie as a family, she knows exactly where her strength comes from. They're taking the good with the bad. Remembering all of it is temporary. They get their mama for good after this. It's about knowing they'll be stronger on the other side. That's what gets Brittany and her kids through it.

So when Santana gets a message from her superior that she is to be released a month earlier than expected, she's not sure what she'll come home too. All she knows is that, the sacrifice of being gone is over, and it's time for everyone to start healing. From the moment she was told the news, her smiles has been plastered on her face. She packed her bags the second she was told, and decided it would be worth it to surprise her kids. With a pep in her step she makes her way off the base and to the airport, ready to leave her military life behind, and be with the loves of her life.

* * *

"Quinn! Bethany and her mom are here. Come downstairs before they leave without you." The loud, heavy sounds of food steps racing down the stairs fills the room as Quinn hops down the last step and to the front door. Her sleepover bag in hand, all ready to have fun with her friends.

For a little while, after finding out about Santana being away from her family had been rough. Especially because not knowing where her mama was, or what she was doing made her want to keep the rest of her family safe a priority. Brittany tried relentlessly to get Quinn to hangout with her friends. Have sleepovers and be a normal teenager, but the young blonde vehemently refused, her inner fears and insecurities keeping her close to home.

Tonight she was ready to try. Santana was due home in less than a month and without any news of her deployment being extended, she was feeling a lot more confident and ready to have fun with her friends. Brittany for her part was ecstatic. She watched as the life came back to her baby's eyes. Her smiles a little brighter and eyes sparkling. With Santana's homecoming coming closer all her kids could feel the tension in their lives dissipate.

"You all set bub? Have everything you need?" Brittany checked. She scanned through Quinn's bag, her eyes finding the night clothes, toothbrush and cellphone charger amongst other things.

"Yes, mom. I've got everything." Quinn smiled up at her mom, a real one as her eyes twinkled with excitement. Brittany places a tender kiss on her daughters forehead, before opening the door. Quinn running to the car parked out front, Bethany's mom waving to Brittany.

Brittany shuts the door, heaving a huge sigh of relief as she watches her kids become their usual selves again. The adjustment had been torture, but they're making it through one day at a time, and that's all she can really ask for. She pushed herself off the door, going into the living room to find her little boy engrosses in _Cars_ , mouthing along to the words he'd memorized for countless hours watching the movie. With Quinn at her sleepover, and Rachel at her abuelo and auebla's house, Brittany and Blaine are left home together to hangout. She scoops Blaine up tickling him gently, before placing him on her lap to cuddle. They watch the movie together, Brittany ordering Italian food for the two of them to share.

* * *

It's the resounding knock on the door that startles Brittany from her reverie, her mind floating away as they moved on from _Cars_ and watched the _Lion King_ together. "Coming!" She yells to the door. As she walks away to find her wallet, she can still hear Blaine singing along loudly, his words mashing together as he giggles wildly.

She walks over to the door, her attention elsewhere as she looks for the correct amount of change. She opens the front door, her head still down, eyebrows furrowed as she continues to look.

"Did someone order Italian? I'm thinking this stuff probably tastes way better than the shit they serve us in Kuwait." Brittany's head jerks up at the sound. Her eyes wide as her brain tries to catch-up to the voice and person in front of her. The wallet fall from her hand, her hands coming up to cover her mouth as she almost collapses to the floor in shock. She stands back up and takes Santana into her arms, crying heavily. Santana strokes Brittany's back

"Baby, don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm here, I'm home and I'm not going anywhere. I love you, baby. So, so much." Santana says, her voice thick with emotion. Brittany heaves in Santana's arms, pulling back to look at her face and examine each part of it. Her eyes scanning over the lips she couldn't kiss, the dark eyes she hasn't been able to look into and her favorite set of dimples she hasn't been able to see over the skype camera.

"Oh, honey. You're finally home." She takes a deep breath "Baby, you're home. I love you, I love you, I love you! Thank you for coming back to me." The words are muffled as she keeps her face buried in Santana's neck. The world stops spinning for a moment as the two stand in the foyer embracing each other. The only sounds that can be heard are that of Brittany sniffling, and Santana humming an unidentified tune.

"I made it home, just like I promised." Santana wipes Brittany's eyes, placing a gentle kiss on her lips, and cheeks. They embrace again, Brittany fearing if she lets go her wife will disappear into thin air. When they pull back, both have stained faces and snotty noses, their eyes bloodshot. The food abandoned on the floor as they kiss passionately. It's as if hadn't been apart for 14 months, each lick, nip and stroke of the tongue leaving them breathless. When the need for air becomes too much they disconnect, but keep each other close. Santana's arms wrapped around Brittany's neck, and Brittany holds Santana by the waist. She pulls her in again, snuggling Santana has tightly as she can.

"Where are my babies?" Santana laughs lightly. Brittany takes her by the hand, and leads her into the living room. They stand by the door watching Blaine for a moment as he dances along with Simba, Timon and Pumba. It's when Santana walks further into the room does his attention get averted elsewhere.

"mama? You here? MAMA?! You home! Mama's home. Mommy, look! Mama's home. Mama you really here? Mama! I missed you." The movie forgotten, he sprints to his mama, pummeling himself into her legs wrapping his chubby little arms around her thighs. "Mama, I really missed you." She lifts him into her arms, holding him to her chest. He lays his head down, as they embrace.

"Yeah, buddy. I'm home. I'm here now. Oh, I missed you baby boy. I love you, honey, so much." She tells him passionately. She brushes her hand through his hair soothingly, and up and down his back as he holds her tightly. When he pulls back his little face his plastered with a smile, and he giggles. He uses his forefinger to poke his mama's nose, almost as though he checking to make she's real. She tilts her head up slightly to catch the finger in her mouth and give it a kiss. He laughs at her antics and moves his head down to her mouth so she can shower him with his usual kisses.

"I love you." She gives him a peck. Holding him in her arms, she cranes her head looking around finally catching on to the silence in the house. "Where's the rest of the team?" She asks curiously.

"Quinn is at a sleepover, and Rachel is at your parents' house." Brittany's answers, almost regretfully.

"So who do we rescue first? Because for my first night home I think I get to have everyone here with me." She laughs playfully but starts walking to the front door bouncing Blaine in her arms blissfully, Brittany trailing behind her. They leave the house and file into the car to go Santana's parents, her palms getting sweatier and heartbeat getting faster the closer they get. When they pull up Santana and Brittany walk hand in hand Blaine perched in Santana's free arm waving to the house.

Santana takes a deep breath before she rings the doorbell, her smile so wide and eyes misty. The sound of the door creaking open has her lifting her head and meeting her mamí's gaze. A shriek breaks through, as her mom launches herself into her daughter. Her sobbing immediate as the one person she had been holding on hope to see finally made her appearance. She strokes her hair, and cries endlessly into her shoulder as she thanks anyone who is everyone for bringing her baby home.

"Oh thank you, Jesus. Thank you, my almighty God for bringing my baby home. Thank you, Jesus. You are a good savior. Thank you, thank you. My beautiful mjia, you're home. My baby, you're here, and you're safe Thank you, Jesus." Brittany takes Blaine from her wife, so the two Latinas can embrace properly both crying tears of joy as her Maribel holds her baby close.

"Maribel, are you ok? What the––" His sentence is cut off with the shock of seeing his daughter standing at their front door, his eyes glaze over and he runs a hand down his gate trying his hardest to keep it together. "My, Santana? Is that you? What are you doing here?" He walks over to her daughter, looking down at her in wonder.

"Hi papí." She looks up from her place in her mom's arms to greet her dad. "I missed you." It's those words that trigger him to join their embrace, holding both petite women in his arms. He doesn't cry, but he doesn't let go.

"As much as I love and adore you both, where's my baby girl?" Santana pulls away from her parents' embrace, her mom taking her hand to keep herself grounded. Brittany watches the reunion with contentment, cuddling Blaine in her arms.

"She's taking a nap. Baby, can I get you anything to eat? Look at you, you're the size of a stick. Are they feeding you over there? Let me making you something mija, anything you want." Maribel says briskly, she pulls Santana into the house without a glance behind her to the rest of the family. Brittany laughs, because she understands where Maribel is coming from.

"Mari, relax. Are baby is home, let her breath. She's not going anywhere." He tries to save Santana the from intense love of her mother, Santana smiling gratefully up to her papí.

"Mamí, before we do anything, can I please go say hi to my baby? It's been over a year since I've held her." Santana says sincerely. "Feed Brittany and Blaine while I go." She kisses Brittany's lips, making her way up the stairs to their guest bedroom.

* * *

"Oh my, sweet Brittany, how could I not see you. How are you my darling?" Their voices get drowned out as Santana slowly makes her way to her sleeping daughter. The smile never leaving her face at being able to surprise her baby. She very gently opens the door, the sound of it creaking filling the silent hallway. She lightly shuts it behind her as she softly pads over to the bed. Rachel's back towards Santana. She sits at the head of the bed, and watches for a moment as her little girl sleeps, her back rises and falls with each deep breath. Santana feels the wash of emotions flood her for what could be the thousandth times since her plane hit the ground.

She places a gentle kiss on Rachels head, smoothing her baby hairs down with her finger tips. She places kiss after kiss in the same spot, hoping the ministrations will rouse the little girl from her slumber.

"It's time to wake up mija." Santana says quietly. She feels the bed shift below her, and a loud sigh leave the small body. Rachels hands come up to her eyes to rub the sleep away. A jaw-cracking yawn leaves the little girls mouth as her eyes open blearily.

"good afternoon, my sleepy girl. Did you have good nap?" Santana smooths her thumb over the baby soft skin of Rachel's cheek, outlining her face ever so tenderly. Rachel looks up to Santana, her eyes squinting at the person in front of her. She closes her eyes again, and brings her small fists to rub them. When she opens them again, she gazes into Santana's eyes, her face a mixture of apprehension, confusion and hopefulness.

She had diligently kept her calendar marking down the day's until her mama would be home. She still had 21 day. So, for her mama to be sitting right in front of her seemed close to impossible. But when she place her hand on her forehand and moved it down to her cheek, the touch seemed real, the only thing she could come up with was that she dreaming because it was way too good to be true.

"Am I dreaming? Mama, is that you?" Her voice a sound of wonderment as they stare at each other. Santana giggles lightly but does her best to keep her voice steady.

"No baby, you're not dreaming. I came home early." She plants another kiss to Rachels forehead, lingering for a moment.

"Mama, you're home for good? You're never leaving us again?" Her voice getting more confident with each question.

"Yes, sweetheart. I'm here for good, and I am never leaving you again." Rachel sits up in the bed, a puzzled laugh bubbles in her chest. She honestly cannot believe what is happening right now. The imminent shock overtaking her body, and slow reaction to the woman sitting beside her. She rubs her eyes again, pushing the hair behind her ears so she can get a good look at her mom.

"You promise I'm not dreaming? That when I wake up you'll still be here?" She asks in bewilderment.

"I promise." Santana says solemnly. It's that phrase that has Rachel hurling herself into her mama's arms. Her face pressed firmly to the space in between her neck, taking in the almost forgotten scent. It had taken Rachel months to sleep in her own bed. Her fears of forgetting her mama festering in having to be close to Brittany at all times. She missed the smiles, her laugh and voice. She missed the way Santana smelled, and how she ran her fingers through her hair when she held her. There are no words to describe the way Rachel missed her mama, and the feeling ease she has now that she's finally in her arms.

"Mama, you made it back to us, you kept your promise." Her voice incoherent from her spot. "I missed you mama, I really, really missed you. I also love you too." She says emotionally. The anxiety that had built up over the course of the year, almost alleviated completely as her mama holds her.

"My darling girl, there are no words to describe how much I missed you. I love you, baby. So much. You are my precious girl. I love you." Her voices catches, but she is able to keep the tears at bay as she hold Rachel in her arms. They stay in the same position for a while, until there is a knock on the door. Brittany pokes her head into the room, before she opens the door fully.

"Mind if we join the party?" She asks. Rachel extracts herself from her mama arms. Moving to sit on her lap, trying to meld herself into Santana

"Mommy!" She exclaims loudly. Santana jerks her head back at the sound. "Mama is here! She's really here mommy. I wished every single night that mama would come home, and my wish came true! Mama you're really here!" With each statement her voice gets louder and more excited. The previous sleepy haze leaving her body as she finally realizes who is holding her.

Brittany walks further into the room, Blaine holding her hand. She sits on the desk chair putting Blaine on her lap. She scooches the chair closer

"Oh, today is a great day. I got my woman, one of my girls, and my little guy. All I need now is my other wonderful blonde and my life will be complete." She claps her hands cheerfully, shaking her body around in a small victory dance.

"I just got off the phone with Bethany's mom. She knows we're on our way." Brittany stands from the chair, holding Blaine in her arms. She reaches a hand out to help Santana up, who keeps Rachel in her arms as well. The walk down the stairs together, Santana tickling Rachel who squirms in her arms in laughter. They make it to the final step, Santana's parents waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Maribel holds her arms out to hug Santana again, embracing both her and Rachel. She holds them for a moment before she lets go, discreetly wiping her eyes.

"Uh,'buela, you ok?" Rachel asks her voice sounding concerned.

"I'm great, honey. Just overwhelmingly happy that your mama is home." She says, giving Rachel the best smile she can with the warmth she is feeling inside at having her baby back home.

"Me too 'buela! I'm so happy mama is home!" She bounces in Santana's arms, her hands coming up, and lips pursing her she shakes her body around crazily. "Mama is home, and life is GOOD!" She yells vivaciously.

"Yeah, baby! Life is really freaking good! Let's go get our final trooper, and then it'll be time to par-tay!" Santana blows her mom one last kiss before she skips out of the house to the car with Rachel, both laughing maniacally the whole time.

"Bye! I'll call you about dinner Maribel. We love you! Tell Alejandro we say bye." Brittany and Blaine leave the house as well, Maribel standing at the front door waving her family off.

* * *

They arrive at their final destination, Brittany parking the car in the drive way. She turns towards Santana who clasps her hands in giddy, ready to hold her eldest daughter.

"We'll wait for you in the car." She turns the music up, her and Rachel singing along as Blaine tries to follow them. Santana exits the car, blowing air kisses to all the occupants before she elatedly makes her way to the front of the house. She rings the doorbell, Bethany's mom greeting her with a tight hug.

"We're so happy you're home! We haven't said anything to Quinn. The girls are in the den playing Mario Kart." She nods her head, and thanks her before she walks over to the den. She watches as her daughter concentrates hard on the screen, Princess Peach racing to the finish line as Quinn whoops in happiness. Her arms coming above her head as she does a victory dance in her seat.

"What can I say, your girl a champion." She claps her hands and dances around the room. Bethany laughs out loud, her head tilting up to the ceiling.

"Ok, ok, we get it. You're the superior driver. Let's play something else, or at least let win. Give my ego a nice big stroke." Bethany says jokingly. She gets up from the couch to change the game. Her eye sight landing on Santana. She gasps in surprise, her movements alerting Quinn.

"I don't know, babe. You might think you're hot stuff, but can you beat your old mama?" Santana walks further into the room, her arms crossed as she raises an eyebrow at her daughter. Quinn stands from her seat and turns fully to face her mom. Her eyes widen at the sight of Santana. She feels her chest pinch as she loses her breath. Her hands cover her mouth, as she steps out from behind the couch to hug Santana. She trips over her feet, falling slightly, Santana catching her before she can hit the ground.

"Woah there, you ok, baby?" Quinn nods, throwing her arms around Santana's neck, choking on a sob as Santana holds her. "I'm here now, sweetheart. No more worrying." Quinn nods her head, unable to respond as her voice is constricted by her crying. She had kept it all in for so long. She missed her mama so much, but each day she could see how hard it was for her mom to be away, and take care of three kids by herself. So she kept it in, and held it together. But her mama holding her, combing her hair with her fingers and whispering loving words into her ear, over a year of sadness, fear and hurt is released from Quinn. With each sob, her chest gets lighter and her grip on her mom gets tighter.

"Ma –ma–mama. I love you. I missed you." She bawls. She buries even deeper into her mom, Santana holding her, running her hand up and down her back.

"Sh-sh-sh, just relax baby. Take a breath, and relax. I'm here now, I've got you. You're ok." She tries to calm Quinn down, she pulls her back, and wipes the steady flow of tears from Quinn's cheek. "That's good baby, just take a breath." She pulls Quinn back into her arms. They hold on to each for dear life.

"Mama, I'm so happy you're here. Oh God. Mama." She can't form coherent sentences as the emotions flood her system. Everything she's felt since the moment Santana has left is at the forefront. "I'm so happy you're safe. I can't––" a choked cry leaves her lips.

"I know, baby. Sh-sh-sh. It's ok. You're ok, everything is going to be fine." The hold each other for a few minutes longer, before Quinn pulls back her whole face flushed but smiling, nonetheless. Santana wipes the final tears from her eyes, pulling her into a final hug.

"Can I come home?" Quinn asks tentatively. She knows her mom will say yes, but she feel slightly bad for leaving in the middle of her sleepover.

"I wouldn't want it any other way. Go grab your stuff." Quinn lets go of her mama, and races up the stairs to Bethany's bedroom. She meets her mom in record time at the front door, ready to head home.

"Bye Quinn! I'll beat you next time." Bethany hugs her goodbye, before the two leave the house Santana with an arm wrapped around Quinn's shoulder. They get into the car, Rachel sidling up to Quinn's side putting her arm around her older sister. They share a smile, Quinn squeezing her sister back lovingly.

"I think it's only fair that I get to pick the movie tonight. I'm thinking something scary." Santana madly, turning her attention to her kids in the back seat. Rachel shudders and Quinn rolls her eye, just happy to have her mom back home with them. "What do you think Rach, you ready for blood, gore and psycho murders?" She chuckles again as she watches Rachel's eyes widen with fear. She laughs again, reaches her hand out to take Rachel's and swings them between the seats.

"I'm just kidding, baby. I'm thinking we cuddle in the big bed, watch some Disney, eat some greasy pizza and call it a night? Thoughts?" Both girls nod their head enthusiastically, Blaine distracted by the trees outside.

"That sounds perfect, mama!" Rachel replies earnestly. She swings their hands again before she lets go and turns back around in her seat. She takes Brittany's free hand in her own and holds it the remainder of the car ride.

* * *

A few hours later, Brittany and Santana lie on opposite ends of the bed. With 3 children in between them, both women hold hands across the kids. With Blaine held flesh against her chest, and Rachel snuggled into her right side, and Quinn on her left, Brittany and Santana share a look for pure contentment. She's home, and she's not going anywhere ever again.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed! I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, or my writing abilities in general, but oh well! Thank you reading, and I hope it did the story justice. If there is any other story you would like me to write and/or any prompt you would like me to fulfill, let me know in the comments or PM me! Have a great day**

 **Also this wasn't proofread because I'm kinda lazy and it was 13 pages long single spaced I apologize for the typos and grammatical errors!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I read one of the comments that wanted to see a one-shot about Quinn being a rebellious teen. So I decided it might be more fun/interesting to include it in this verse, mostly because I enjoy this one a little bit more than the other one (which I'm having some serious mental blocks when it comes to writing for). So without further ado…please enjoy this one shot! If you have any requests, let me know and I'll try and get the, done! Thanks for reading, until next time!**

* * *

Brittany sits on the couch, she flips her phone in her hand, waiting for the front door to open. The clock by the TV blaring 10:30 the lights in the living room dimmed low. She unlocks her phone again, checking to see if she has any missed messages when the front door creaks open and the light on the porch goes on. She sits up stock still, squinting into the distance, waiting for Quinn to enter the living room to go up to her bedroom.

"Where the hell have you been?" Brittany asks accusingly. She gets up from her place on the couch and stalks over to Quinn, her hands sitting strategically on her hips and her lips pursed as she waits for an answer.

"I was just out with a few friends." Quinn remarks snidely. She's not in the mood to talk to her mom, let alone divulge her whereabouts. Not that she was doing anything illegal, on the contrary. She wasn't even out at all, she had actually fallen asleep at her friend Stella's house, but her mom didn't need to know that. Sometimes picking a fight was fun, especially when it meant she could comfortably let out all of her feelings of anger.

Brittany doesn't look impressed. It's unlike her eldest to miss curfew, and if she did, she always made sure to call or text to let her mom know where she was. She knew better than to leave her mom worried. She steps closer to Quinn and crosses her arms over her chest.

It had been a couple weeks of subtle back talking, late curfews and missed homework assignments. Her teachers had even called Brittany to let her know that Quinn was slacking in school. She was distracted and being a little disruptive when it came to talking to her friends in class. She didn't know what was happening and where and why everything was going downhill. She had refrained from telling Santana, mostly because she didn't want to worry her, but also because she could handle it. Or, at least she wanted to try and handle it on her own. Teen rebellion wasn't exactly her strong suit.

This, however, was the final straw. It wasn't the aspect of being late for curfew, once again, that had Brittany mad, it was the worriedness she felt at Quinn's actions and why she was doing this, that piqued her annoyance. She had spoken to Quinn on multiple occasions, the young girl thwarting any attempts at divulging what is secretly wrong. Brittany should've tried harder to understand, but with two other kids, those issues sometimes got pushed to the sidelines.

As for punishment, she had taken away the phone, and refused to let Quinn see her friends, but the blonde was always compliant. She took the punishment like a champ and for the most part, her back talking was minimal. Until tonight.

"What do you mean out with some friends? You don't get to be out with friends at this hour Quinn. You're thirteen years old." She tilts her head, her eyebrow shooting up as she dares her daughter to respond. She's about to tell Quinn to go upstairs and go to sleep when Quinn changes her stance. She copies her mother pose, her arms coming over her chest as she challenges Brittany in a way she rarely ever did. She smirks slightly, not letting her guard down.

"I'm not a kid anymore. I'm almost 14 and I'll be in high school soon." She answers back smugly. Her posture not changing as she pushes back verbally. She's ready to fight her mother, or anyone actually. All this rage has been bubbling in her chest and it's time to come out. Not constructively, obviously, but she doesn't care. The more of a release the better, and if that means trying on the nerves of her laid-back and gentle mom, so be it.

Brittany looks at Quinn like she has grown 7 heads. She brings her hand up to her temple, and then down to rub her eyes to help stave off the impending headache. She wishes that Santana was here, or that Quinn would have waited to enter the rebellious stage of her teenage years until Santana got back. She doesn't think she's equip to deal with her daughter. Though, she did pick up a few tips and tricks from her wife.

"The hell you're not. Get upstairs, go brush your teeth a go to bed. We're Skyping mama tomorrow and you bet your sweet butt she'll be hearing about this. Don't think you're not going to be punished." She points her hand up the stairs in fury as she waits for Quinn to back down and oblige. She watches as the smirk on Quinn's face drops at the mention of her mama. She knows exactly the reaction Quinn would have to threatening to tell Santana.

Quinn looks at Brittany deadpanned as she weighs her options quickly. She could A. obey her mom and go upstairs albeit very annoyed and anger still brewing in her chest. Or B. which she considered the more fun option; she could continue to fight, rile her mom up and get an actual reaction from her.

Plan B. it is.

"Oh yeah? What is she going to do about it? She's not even here. She's too busy helping everyone else out to even be here for her own family." She rolls her eyes, missing the look of hurt and pain that flashes across Brittany's face before she steels herself to take on her clearly indignant child. She sighs again, not wanting to let her emotions get the best of her.

"Go upstairs, Quinn, I don't feel like fighting with you right now. It's late." She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear as this conversation becomes more exasperating. Her arms land back crossed in front of her chest, as she watches the fight in her child harden. She rolls her eyes when Quinn decides to respond, just wishing her kid would give it up. She's a younger version of Santana in that respect, not ever willing to give up a fight she hasn't won.

"Well, I want to fight about it. You can't control me. If I want to hang out with my friends I should be allowed too." Quinn raises her voice, hands slapping down to her thighs and mouth dropping open as her mother doesn't take the bait. She wants to fight, she wants to get angry and yell and scream and feel something. Why can't Brittany just give her that?

With each word that comes out of Quinn's mouth, she knows her resolve is breaking down. She feels her chest tighten as she knows this isn't a conflict she can avoid.

She's never had to be the backbone. She is the one they ran too when Santana was putting them in their place. She is the one that explains Santana and her words, and the meanings of her discipline and consequences. She helps them to understand their punishments, she didn't give it to them. That's not the say that she doesn't discipline her kids, but Santana is slightly more superior at it per se. Her and Santana work as a well-oiled machine. But now, she has to be both sides, and she doesn't really know what she's doing.

"You need to lower your voice before you wake up your brother and sister. And Quinn, You're not allowed to do anything without permission. I don't know who you think you're talking too, but you better go upstairs right now." However, she will not tolerate Quinn waking up the others, mostly because it will be impossible to get them back to sleep. It's the creak of the top step that alerts Brittany that it's too late.

Quinn looks up to the stairs too, her eyes going wide when she realizes that she could be in actual trouble. It never crosses her mind that coming home late, back talking and refusing to listen could result in actual consequences. She knows her mom prefers to leave the groundings and punishments to her mama, but since its just her, she fails to take in that there are boundaries she shouldn't cross. The realization hits a tad too late.

"No." She doesn't budge, she's come this far, it wouldn't even be worth it to back down now. She steel her gaze on her mom, hardening her eyes.

Brittany can feel the anger raising in her chest. Her fists clench at her sides, and her cheeks become warm with silent rage. Her kid is really testing her right now, and she's too riled up to question the true motive of Quinn's rebellion.

"Lucy Quinn, I swear if you don't go upstairs and to bed right now you'll regret coming home late." She's giving her a final chance before she brings out the punishment. It's the last thing she wants to do, mostly because she knows the reaction will be less than satisfactory.

"What are you going to do? Hit me?" She knows she's crossed a line. Her parent would never hit her. Spank her, barely, a few swats on her bottom were less painful than not having her phone or computer. But she knows her parents would never lay a finger on her, and to accuse her mom of such, she also knows will get her into trouble, if she wasn't already in it in the first place.

"No. But I will ground you until you find some manners. No phone, no computer and no TV for a week. You're home after school every day, and you will babysit Rachel and Blaine when I need you too, no questions asked. Now, go upstairs before I make it two weeks." Brittany is no idiot, she knows exactly what Quinn is trying to do. It's resisting the reaction that the younger blonde wants that's the hard part.

"I don't understand why you're treating me like I'm 7 years old. I just came home a little bit late. God damnit. I wish Mama was here!" Quinn yells indignantly, her foot stomping as she tries to stop the angry tears from falling. Her most inner child coming out as she reconciles with the fact that if she had just kept her mouth shut she wouldn't be in any trouble. The worst part being, that tomorrow she would have to deal with all of this anyways.

But it's not the punishment that really gets her mad. It's who's handing it out.

"because that's how you're acting." Brittany is over exhausted by this point. The slip of Quinn wanting her mama going over her head as she tries to get her daughter to stand down, and accept that she is going to be in trouble regardless. Quinn looks to her left, avoiding Brittany's gaze. She doesn't budge from her step, but her exterior breaks down as she the losing battle comes to an end

"Lucy Quinn, I will not tolerate any more of this from you. Go upstairs before I flip you over my lap." She points up the stairs one more time, looking to the top step to see Rachel peaking behind the railing. She notices her mom looking, and jerk backs to where she thinks she can't be seen, even though she's already been heard.

Quinn rolls her eyes, shakes her head and swipes at her eyes. She doesn't even understand why she fought with her mom, but with anger clouding her judgement the next words she utters are meant to really fucking hurt.

"And don't call me Lucy." She says with a shake of her head. She hates the name Lucy, she doesn't really know why, but all she knows is that when her moms' call her that it makes her feel small and insignificant. She hates more than anything being referred to as Lucy.

"God, I freaking hate you. I just want mama to come home." She misses the crushed and hapless look on her mom's face as she loudly stomps up the stairs. When she gets to the top, she harshly pushes past her sister. "Move, you little freak." She bumps into her almost knocking Rachel down to the ground, her sister holding onto the railing to keep herself steady. She slams the door to her bedroom, hoping to all Gods that Blaine doesn't wake up. She doesn't need to give her mom any more ammunition.

"Yeah, so do I." Brittany says to herself brokenly. She can feel her eyes sting the onslaught of tears pushing at her eyelids, but she refuses to let them fall. She violently rubs her eyes, huffing slightly to stop herself from breaking down. "Jesus fucking Christ." She way in over her head.

* * *

Brittany slowly makes her way to the top of the stairs, Rachel sits cross legged against the railing. She head in her hands, as her elbows rest on her knees. Her face is contemplative, the fight between her mom and sister slightly disconcerting for the 7 year old.

Brittany bends down, startling Rachel, who looks up at her mom with the most innocent doe eyes she can make. Brittany kisses her head and then lifts her into her arms to bring back to bed. They make their way to Rachel bedroom, she plops Rachel on the bed and pulls the covers back. The young girl crawls under the covers, and looks up at her mom who sits down on the side of the bed.

"You'll stay my sweet little baby forever? Right Rachel? You won't be mean, and hard-headed when you get older? And you'll never hate me?" Brittany asks gently. She smiles at her daughter to let her know she's kidding. Rachel nods back ardently, she loves her mom, she would never want to hurt her feelings.

"Nope! Because I love you, and because I know to get what I want I have to be nice." She says cheekily. Her little smile becoming full blown as Brittany laughs heartily. "I'm just kidding."

She sticks out her pinky for Brittany to take. They lock pinky's and Brittany kisses Rachels hand. "I pinky promise to be the best teenager ever and to always love you." Rachel says sweetly.

"I love you honey. Sleep well, I'll see you in the morning." Brittany kisses her daughters cheeks and the crown of her head, before she stands up and leaves the room, keeping the door open a crack just in case.

* * *

Brittany waits by the desktop computer, waiting for Santana to accept her skype call. She's alone for the day, Maribel sensing over the phone that Brittany needed a day off so she took the kids out for some quality 'buela time.

"Hey baby! Look at you, you look beautiful as per usual." Santana's face pops up on the screen, her smile wide as she looks at the love of her life from over an ocean away. She gives a small wave, and Brittany's face lights up at seeing her wife.

The calls coming few and farther in-between, as Santana's life becomes more hectic, and Brittany takes care of her three kids by herself. The moments she gets to spend with her wife reminding her just how much she loves and misses the Latina.

"hi, Sweetheart! You look stunning." Santana crinkles her nose as a laugh bubbles from her chest. She definitely looks far from stunning. It was hot, and she was sticky and gravely in need of a shower. Leave it to her wife to think her sweaty wife was worth complimenting on her looks.

You're sweet, but such a liar." Brittany sticks out her tongue but doesn't respond. "What's up, baby? You look stressed. How are our little trouble makers?" Her face contorts to concern, Brittany breathing out a long deep breath, her shoulder dropping as she finds the words to explain their current teenage predicament.

"They're ok. I'm pretty sure Quinn has hit the beloved teen angst stage, and I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do" She lets out a desperate laugh, her face frowning when she thinks back to the night before.

"Oh no. What happened?" Santana for her part knew this was coming. Obviously, she hoped it would be much later or not at all, but she was her daughter after all. They might not be blonde, but in the instance of their personalities, it seems as though nurture won this round. She pouted as Brittany began her explanation of the night before.

Brittany brings her hands up to the bridge of her nose before she begins. "Honestly, it wasn't even that big of a deal. She missed her curfew by a little bit, and I knew where she was. I just freaked out because she hadn't called me, and I didn't know if she was safe." She drops her hands down to lap, and looks up to the ceiling.

"But she came home, and it was like I was talking to a demon in the body of our beautiful, usually sweet girl. She was so rude, honey. I mean she told me she hated me. I've never heard her say that. Am I over reacting? I was just freaked out and I couldn't get a hold of her." She looked to Santana for guidance, who gave her a sincere and sympathetic look back. She wished so badly she could have put their daughter in her place. No-one disrespects her wife, and definitely not her kids.

"No, I totally understand. I'll talk to her see what's up. She doesn't get to be a brat just because I'm not there physically to discipline her. She knows the rules, and she knows better than to speak to you that way." Santana tells her strongly. She looks behind Brittany trying to see if she could spot the kids in the back of the room, or anywhere for that matter.

"Thanks baby." Brittany tells her, blowing her a kiss. She catches the kiss and puts it on her lips. They smile their special smile at each other, before Santana inquiries about the missing people in the room.

"Where are the kids? Shouldn't they be home by now. I can't talk for too long, but I really want to see them." She tries to look around the room, but the silence a dead giveaway to the whereabouts of the three children.

"You're mom took them out for a little bit, they should be home in a few." She answers regretfully. "Gives me a little time to talk to you. How have you been? You look good! I miss you" Her voice brightens at having a few moments alone with her wife. They had been separated for the better part of a year, Santana was due home in 2 month, barring any complication or an extension of her deployment.

"I've been good! Tired, and it's hot, but otherwise good. I miss you more, it's been a little lonely, but we're both making it through." They both reach out to the camera in almost a touching hands sort of way. The door slams behind Brittany and Santana sits up straight, she sees two of three kids walk into the room, followed by her mom.

"Ah! There they are." She says enthusiastically. She claps her hands in anticipation at being able to talk to the loves of her life. Her mami's face pops into the screen first, waving at her daughter.

"Hi Santana! I miss you, sweetie!" She looks at Santana who smiles back, Maribel instinctively reaches out to touch her daughter, but remembers otherwise, discreetly pulling her hand back. She looks at Brittany who glances up at Maribel and smiles as well. Maribel plants a kiss on Brittany's head in a silent hello.

"Hi mami! How are you? How's papi?" She asks conversationally. She looks around the room again watching as Blaine and Rachel sing in the background, giving their 'buela a few moments to talk to her daughter.

"We're good, baby! Great even. Getting ready to go to Puerto Rico tomorrow." She answers happily, her gaze turns pinched when she looks more closely. Her eyes connecting with Santana who gives her a confused look. "You look tired sweetie are you getting enough sleep, is everything going alright?" She whispers softly. She chances a glance behind her, Brittany following her line of sight to the kids whom are too invested in their performance to notice the question or concern. They look back to Santana, waiting for an answer.

"I'm ok mami, I promise." She nods her head to get her point across. Maribel quietly sucks her teeth, but doesn't say anything. "Where's Quinn?" Santana asks after a moment. The mention of their older sibling interests pique as they remember their mama is currently on the computer.

They tumble over to the desktop, Blaine putting his hands on the desk, standing on his tippy toes to try and reach the monitor. Brittany lifts him into her lap, and kisses the back of his head. Rachel stands on Brittany left, her mom placing and arm around her waist and bringing the young girl close to her in a side hug.

"She's been in a bit of a mood today. We've left her to her own devices for the most part. Too much like you Santana. Good luck Brittany." She gives Brittany a fake salute, and a complimentary nod. Brittany giggles, and Santana huffs at the jab, but smiles regardless.

"Amazing. I'm going to talk to the kids, but Tell papi I love him! And I love you mami, I'll call you soon." She blows her mami a kiss, Maribel reciprocating the action.

"I love you my sweet girl! Stay safe, honey. I'll talk to you later." She pecks all the occupants in the room one last time before she goes home to her husband. The two kids take her departure as their cue to finally talk to their mama. Their inane amount of energy and excitement bursting through the seams.

Hi mama! I miss you!" Rachel exclaims loudly. She bounces in Brittany's arms, vibrating with elation. They hadn't really gotten to talk to her for a couple of weeks, but they have been counting down the days until her arrival, and it was all Rachel could really look forward too.

"Mama, I miss you. When you come home?" Blaine asked from his spot on Brittany's lap. He little face was always confused when they spoke. A lot very bright for a three year old, it was pressingly hard to get the little boy to understand that Santana wasn't coming back for a little while. His perception of time pretty standard for a toddler.

"Hi, my darlings. I miss you both more!" She sends more kisses their way, both children giddily catching them, in the small game they play. Placing them in their pockets for future use when they misses their mama.

"Blaine remember the calendar in the kitchen, where you guys put the X's on the dates to the circled December 12th? That's how long till I can come home" She answers in a somber voice. She tries to keep it upbeat as to not sadden her kids. Especially because there was a little talk going around that her date might be extended, but she dare not mention it without serious confirmation.

"I want you home now!" His mood changes almost instantly. His little fist comes down hard on Brittany's thigh. She winces at the contact, but doesn't scold him. She completely understands his irritation.

"I miss you mama" Rachel says earnestly. She rests her head on Brittany's shoulder, as her mom strokes her arm up and down, grazing her fingernails over the soft skin of Rachel biceps.

"I know, sweetheart I want to be home now too. Only a little bit longer" The pleading look in their eyes makes her feel guilty, but she tries to curb the feeling. She knows it's not her fault, but looking at her precious children makes her truly question the sacrifices she makes to be away from them.

"Mama I want you now please!" Blaine pleads. His mouth forming a pout and his eyes wide as he thinks that begging his mom to come home, as he seemed to always do was going to make her arrival come faster.

"Mama can't come home now, but tonight we can cross off the date and count the amount of days left" Brittany tries to stave off the impending temper tantrum, reminding Blaine of their nightly ritual in which they count the days until Santana would be home.

"Oh, ok. I guess. Mama I love you." He leans back into Brittany, his thumb finding his mouth in an effort to relax. Every time they talk to Santana he always begs her to come home, and every single time the answer is no. His thumb brings him the comfort his mama cant from 6,000 miles away.

"I love you too baby!" She tries her hardest to get him to smile, but he looks away from the camera desolately. He curls slightly into Brittany, she pats him on the back giving Santana a sympathetic look.

"Britt, where's Quinn?" Santana asks again. Her attention occupied with the two kids in the room, she completely forgot her third had yet to make an appearance during her ever short skype chats. "I can't talk for too much longer." She says sadly.

Rachel pipes up from her spot in Brittany's arms. She smiles mischievously at the chance of ratting out her sister. The one who made Blaine cry earlier in the day and was being an overall grump the whole day. Which sucked, because Rachel thought they could have had such a lovely day with their 'buela had Quinn not ruined. Revenge is best served cold.

"She's been in a bad mood all day. She even yelled at Blaine, and she NEVER does that!" Rachel blabbers to her parents. Her little smirk in place, as she animatedly talks about her day. "Buela told her to calm down in the bedroom upstairs, and when we got home she ran upstairs. She's dumb. She should be here, we only get to talk to you like not that much." She looks at her moms' with big doe eyes. She knows she not allowed to insult her sister, but damn, sometimes the girl really was dumb.

"Don't call your sister dumb, sweetheart, it's not nice." Brittany scolds her gently. The actions of her eldest weighs heavily on her mind. Quinn never acts that way. She would most definitely never intentionally make her baby brother cry. She rubs her forehead with her hand, her eyes closing briefly at the thought of another fight with her child.

"Well, she might not be dumb, but she's acting stupid." Rachel says smartly. She crosses her arms at being scolded. Her mom wasn't there, if she had been she would've agreed.

"Rachel." Santana warns. She knows where this conversation could lead. With two upset children and an overwhelmed Brittany. Rachel, however, decides to take the high road, her brow dropping and shoulder slouching in defeat.

"Sorry. Anyways. I had a great day. 'Buela taught me some more Spanish, and I learned a new song. I still have to practice a lot, but Ms. Wild said that the next time we get to video with you I should be ready." She tells her excitedly. Her little hands clap at the memories of vocal lessons and the praises from her teacher.

"It's imperative that I rest my voice an allotted amount of days as to not stress out my vocal chords. Did I use the word allotted right mommy?" She rambles to her mama, her spirits up again at the thought of being able to sing Santana her new song. After a lot of practice of course.

Santana smiles at Rachel enthusiasm. Her hands coming to hold her head as she listens to her baby talk about her passions. She knows Rachel is talented, even for a seven year old. She smiles when she mentions the future performance and makes sure to respond to all of Rachels statements.

"Absolutely, baby!" Brittany says passionately. Brittany for her part completely understands her child's determination and devotion to performance especially singing. Both her and Santana encouraging the young child as much as they can to follow her dreams and they'll go wherever they take her.

"It's just like being a dancer!" Sigh wistfully at her past dancer life. Settling down to teach, and run her studio, which she hadn't been doing of much of since late. Her partner holding down the fort during Santana's deployment.

"Exactly" Santana agrees. She watches Rachel genuinely look at her moms, her eyes shining with so much love they both feel like they could burst into tears. Santana pulls herself together first, tucking a lock of fallen hair behind her ears.

"I can't wait to hear it Rachel, I'm sure it's probably amazing already even without the practice." She tells her eagerly, truly excited to hear her baby girl sing.

You're the best mama! I'm gonna go practice right now, ok! I love you the mostest! I miss you so much. C'mon Blaine I need your applause." She wraps her arm around her mom, before blowing kisses to her mama. She grabs Blaine by the arm, gently pulling him off Brittany's lap. She gives him a moment to say goodbye before they dart out of the room.

"I love you even more than that, baby girl." Santana catches the kisses putting them on her lips, making Rachel giggle.

"Bye, mama! Miss you. I love you lots and lots like jelly tots." He uses his little arms to give her an air hug which she happily reciprocates. And gives him a very loud smooch through the camera.

"Bye my sweet Blaine. I love you to the moon and stars and back and then back again!" He giggles, and the two little kids run from the room, ready to prepare for their future performance. Brittany watches as they leave, her smiles never fading. Her kids truly always give her a reason to stay positive and blissful. She knows for sure she can make it through anything because of them.

"Britt can you call Quinn down here please. We need to talk to her. This little rebellious kick that she's on isn't cute." Santana accidently pulls Brittany from her reverie. Her expression changing to one of feeble frustration at their oldest child.

"Quinn, you need to come downstairs. Now. Mama is on Skype and we need to talk to you." Brittany gets up from her chair, and goes over to the doorway. She waits for a moment but doesn't receive a response.

"Jesus, Britt, don't let her ignore you." Santana huffs indignantly. Brittany rolls her eyes at both Santana and Quinn, trying to get her daughter to come downstairs again.

"Quinn, you need to come downstairs right now. Don't make me come up there, because you will not be happy with the result." The sound of heavy footsteps are heard through the house, as Quinn unhappily stomps down the stairs. Her expression is dark, and her eyes a little misty.

"what can I do for you." She asks her mother rudely. Brittany takes her by the hand unexpectedly and pulls her into the office, putting her in front of the monitor so Santana can see her. Quinn crosses her arms and looks at Brittany exasperatedly.

"Excuse me, young lady, I suggest you drop the unnecessary attitude, or your sleepover this weekend is canceled. Mama is on skype and we need to talk to her." Brittany's voice is low and resembles a hiss. She

"I don't want too. Can I go upstairs please?" She tells Brittany quietly. Santana looks at the both of them, their voices too low to make out exactly what they're saying.

"Too bad, this isn't up for discussion. We only get to talk to mama every few weeks, so you're going to say hi, and be the pleasant child I know you are." Brittany doesn't leave any room for discussion. She gently turns Quinn towards the monitor, Santana looking at her family brightly. Finally happy to be able to talk to the whole clan.

"Hi baby, How have you been?" Santana sees them shift towards her, and takes it as her cue to join the party. She smiles confidently at her family, Quinn moving her gaze to the left to avoid looking at her mama.

"I'm fine." She answers shortly. Brittany gives her a pointed look, asking her silently to at least try and be cordial, especially with how precious their time with Santana is. She knows Quinn knows that, now if Quinn would respect it, is another topic up for discussion.

"I'm glad to hear that. But are you sure you're ok. You haven't been acting like yourself from what I've been hearing." The question grates on Quinn's nerves. She said she's fine, if her parents would just believe her when she talked, that was all she asked. She refuses to look at either of her moms', the move bothering Brittany highly.

"Like I said two seconds ago, I'm fine. Can I go now?" Her answer is clipped and her arms come to cross over her chest protectively. Even from overseas Santana could scare her. She drops her head down, in shame. She doesn't know why she's being so mean. She can't help it. She's never like this, and it's kind of scaring her to know she could even act this way. She's just so stressed about her mama being gone, and her deployment has been taking its toll on Quinn's emotional health.

Overtime, she realized just how much she was holding in. She wanted to be strong, to not give her mom any problem while she dutifully, and gracefully took care of three kids. The least she could do was be the perfect child for her mom, give her less to stress about. But while time went one, it became harder to not address everything she that had been brewing inside.

She didn't let herself feel the anger, sadness, pain and hurt that came with her mama being gone. She pushed it all aside to be the loving, and caring sister and daughter her mom needed. What that did though was leave no time to deal with everything. It had to eventually come out, and the resentment she feels–though completely unwarranted– towards her mom is coming out a mean streak she can't seem the stop.

"Quinn, this time we get to spend with your mama is precious, I suggest you respect it." Brittany isn't playing games anymore. She looks disappointed at Quinn, who has the audacity to gaze down in shame. She really doesn't know how to stop herself. Her heart feels one thing, but her brain is a saying something completely different.

"Quinn, honey, you're not acting like yourself. What's wrong, baby? We're really worried." Santana tries a final time, but to no avail Quinn doesn't give it up. She watches her daughters guard go up and the walls build in seconds behind her eyes. The closed of stance and the distance look on her face a giveaway to the fact she wasn't going to let out any imperative information to emotional whereabouts.

"I just said that nothing is wrong. I've been acting fine, not that you would know, because you're not here. Can I go now? Please." She answers hotly. Her breath comes out in huffs, and her cheeks flush in anger. She doesn't even know why she's angry, she just is. And, talking to her mama just makes it worse.

Quinn Lopez-Pierce, just because I am not there physically does not make me any less of your mother. So I don't know who gave you the right to speak to me like I'm one of your friends. You have been giving your mom a hard time, and I expect more from you especially as our oldest. If something is bothering you, I would assume you would be mature enough to talk about it, instead of lashing out at us and your siblings instead. How old do you think you are?

"Please, can I go upstairs. I'm fine. Everything is fine. I'm tired, I just want to sleep. Please mommy. I'm sorry for being mean, but I'm just tired." She would get on her knees if she had too. She begs her moms' to let her leave. Her body and voice are ridged, and she just wants out. She needs to breath and she feels suffocated. Her mama isn't even physically there and she can barely get a solid breath out.

Brittany notices the panic stricken look and nods her head in resignation. Forcing Quinn to talk wasn't going to do any good. Brittany looks to Santana on the monitor and they have a silent conversation. The attitude Quinn was giving them was so unlike herself, they knew there was no way to fight her in that moment. Giving their daughter a second to herself to calm down was a better way of getting her to let them in.

"Ok, honey, you can go get ready for bed. I love you, baby. Sleep well." Santana tells her softly. Quinn sighs in relief, and finally brings her gaze to Santana's. She sees the apparent concern and sadness in her mama eyes. The guilt she feels for her behavior hits her like a ton of bricks.

"Love you too mama. Good night." Quinn turns on her heel without a glance back at her moms'. She rushes up the stairs and into her room, falling on the bed while she shook with silent sobs. It all was too much, every feeling, every obnoxious word and snide remark. She felt stuck and scared and very lonely. But she didn't know what to do about it.

Back downstairs Santana sits on her bed with a thumb in her mouth, chewing nervously at her nail. She takes it out to examine the damage before she looks at Brittany hopelessly. She knows how hard her being has been on the kids. She knows, and she watches each time they skype the worry lines and tiredness that Brittany tries so hard to hide. So watching Quinn, their sweet, kind and mild-mannered daughter become a totally different person, it sucks. Not because they knew it wasn't going to happen, but because there's only so much one can do from thousands of miles away.

"Brittany, is this my fault? I mean this is pretty shitty timing to be acting rebellious? My being gone definitely has something to do with this?" It doesn't stop the complicity she feels in Quinn's behavior. A part of her is, however, very glad her child is finally letting herself engage with her world wind of emotions. She knows Brittany can handle it, and that when Quinn finally does come around, she'll have Brittany to love and comfort her, and that's all she can really ask.

"Do not go blaming yourself Santana! She knows what she's doing. She's trying to figure out what she's feeling, and pushing the boundaries to see how far we'll go to protect her. She's ridiculous if she thinks we're going to let her get away with anything." Brittany doesn't want her wife to worry, especially with their current predicament. So she tries to placate her fears, even as Brittany internally struggles with how exactly she is going to deal with their kid.

It's the holler of "Lopez, you're needed ASAP", that pulls Santana away from her family. She pouts to the camera, beginning to gather her things and get ready to spring into action.

"I'm so sorry I have to leave you alone with this sweetheart, I wish I could be there." Waves to Brittany who watches in awe as Santana's expression shifts to one of determination. She has never gotten to see her wife in action, however, the small glimpse she does get to see of Santana while away always leaves her astounded.

"I know, baby but I've got it under control. You just keep safe, and protect us from afar." She assures her. Santana looks up into the camera and into Brittany's eyes seeing the slight apprehension but she smiled anyways. The persistent yelling of name making her move faster.

"I love you, baby, so much. You're an incredible mother. I miss you." She says quickly. Brittany gives her an air kiss, and Santana reciprocates it

"I love you too honey. Stay safe and come home to me." Before she can say anything else, the camera is shut off and the monitor goes black. Brittany sits back in her chair and rubs her face. She puts her long, silky hair up into a ponytail, running her fingers through it. She waits a few second before getting up and turning in for the night. It was only 7:30 but it had been a long week.

* * *

It's a Wednesday night when Brittany is sitting on the couch going over financials for her dance studio. The lights in the living room are off, and the glow from her computer screen can be seen. It's is close to 10:00 pm, and both her little kids were in bed. With Quinn's grounding her bedtime was moved to the same time as her siblings, and with no electronics she assumed that her daughter was probably asleep as well.

However, that is not the case. When the sound of the top step alerts her to a presence of someone on the stairs. At first she thinks it's Rachel, as she had been having sleep issues while Santana was gone. The young girl getting out of bed with nightmares to beg her mom to let her sleep in the big bed. Each time Brittany would concede; it was nice having someone there with her. But it's the tentative steps, and the very slow movements that has her second guessing her assumption.

On the stairs, Quinn smacks her head gently with her hand, annoyed at herself for forgetting about the creak in the top step. She tries as hard as she can to avoid the other steps, moving with as much tact and precision as she can. As she makes her way down the stairs, she glances around the room, not spotting her mother who she thought was in bed.

Tonight, Quinn was doing the ultimate– or as serious as it could be in the mind of a thirteen year old– rebellious teen move. She was sneaking out for the first time. Her friend Stella called her on the confiscated phone she had found so poorly hidden in her moms' room, and told her to come over. Quinn knew that 1. It was a school night, and late on a school night. 2. Her mom would never had let her go, regardless of whether or not she was grounded, and 3. The amount of trouble she would get in if she was caught would be nothing compared to missing her curfew.

Hitting the last step, Quinn quietly sprints the front door, pumping her fist in victory as she goes to open it. It's the sound of a voice clearing and the her mother's stern gaze that has her hand frozen on the doorknob. Her sweet escape was going to have to wait.

"And where do you think you're going, missy? Did you really think you could sneak out of this house? while you're grounded, nonetheless. I mean seriously, your first mistake was trying to go through the front door" She heaves in a large breath, her eyes going up to the ceiling to stave off the impending anger she could feel rising in her chest. She watches has Quinn's gives her a "deer in headlights" look, her mouth opening and closing a few times trying to come up with an answer.

"I-I-I, um." She clears her throat, but doesn't elaborate past her pathetic stutter. Mostly, because she knows that getting caught would be even worse if she were to give any sort of remark.

"Lucy Quinn, go back upstairs. We'll discuss your consequences in the morning." Brittany rubs her temples, moving her hand back down in a sweeping motion towards the stairs. She watches as Quinn's shoulder drop, and she crosses her arms. Walking past her mom with her head and eyes down casted. At least she avoided any sort of scolding until the morning.

"Fucking hell" She says under her breath. " And I said, don't fucking call me LUCY!" Her eyes go wide when she realizes what she just said. Brittany hated cursing, and even would go as far as scold Santana when she would inevitably let out a cuss word. But, cursing at her mother was a big no-no.

There goes avoiding any confrontation.

"Quinn, I know I didn't just hear those words come out of your mouth. I don't know what's going on with you, but this attitude of yours is getting old." Brittany is seeing red at this point. She pulls Quinn by her arm, and leads her to the couch. Her daughter resists slightly, but lets Brittany bring her into the living room. She turns back to Quinn her posture ridged and her face tight.

"If you're really not that kid you say you are, than you would know that adults talk about how they're feeling instead of acting out. If something is bothering you, you need to talk to me or to mama or buela or hell even a guidance counselor about this. Because your behavior has been out of hand and frankly I'm sick of it." Her cheeks are flushed after her small rant. Quinn looks on the verge of tears, gritting her teeth to stem the showing of emotion.

"Well, I can't talk to mama because she's not here and she hasn't been here for over a year. And I don't want to tell you anything, because what will you do about it? Let me just deal with everything myself." She turns her head away from Brittany, and glares down at the floor.

Brittany's expression softens, and releases the grip on Quinn's arm. Quinn jerks herself away from Brittany, putting distance between the two of them.

"Quinn, wait. What are you talking about? Tell us what? Sweetheart, what's going on? Please talk to me." Brittany isn't a opposed to begging at this point. She sits on the couch and pats the seat next to her. Quinn shakes her hand and continues to stand. She will not give her mother what she wants.

"No." She turns on her heel, trying to make a run for it. Brittany with the longer limbs is able to catch her daughter before she can even make it out of the room. She turns Quinn so they're face to face, using her forefinger and thumb to lift her eldest's chin, forcing Quinn to make eye contact.

"Honey, please, tell me what's wrong. You never act like this." Quinn closes her eyes for a second, and Brittany moves her hand back down. When she opens them again they're shining with wetness, her hands tremble at her sides.

"I don't know what's wrong. I mean nothing is really wrong. I'm just so freaking angry." The confession almost exhausting her, as she has to take a deep breath in before she can continue again.

"I'm so mad, and I don't know why. I just want to feel normal again." She has to turn her head away, Brittany's gaze too constricting for her.

"That's normal, sweetheart. A lot more normal than you think, actually." She takes Quinn's hand, and this time sits them both on the couch, Quinn finally complying. "But you need to speak up, not try and defy the rules." She tells her exasperatedly.

"How can I speak up, if I have no idea why I'm acting the way I am." She questions quietly. She doesn't let on to the true reason she's feeling the way she is. It would hurt her mom too much, and she's done a little bit too much of that recently.

"Baby, I think you know a lot more than you're letting on. You pointed it out yesterday, but I was too angry to even realized you alluded to that fact." She looks at Quinn with so much understanding and compassion, she wants to truly burst into tears. She settles for a little sigh and a nod of the head. She had given a few hints, completely unintentional.

"Quinn, I know how upsetting Santana being gone is. I feel it too, and your siblings have been slightly more needy than normal, but you're older than them. You have to use your words, and not so we can fight, but so I can help you to understand, and you can help me." She turns Quinn's head back towards her, her hand coming up to caress her cheek.

"It's the fear of mama getting hurt that makes it so hard. I just miss her so much, I want her here. It makes me so angry that she can't be here with us. Sometimes it feels like I'm not allowed to feel that way, like I can't be upset by it because I'm not the only one that this is happening too." She cries, her eyes down casted as Brittany uses her thumb to wipe the tears away.

"You are allowed to feel anything you want, it's going to happen regardless. But what you're not allowed to do is act how you please because you think your feelings and emotions are invalid. Mama and I have never once told you, you're not allowed to be upset, angry, sad, or hurt by this. We've always tried to give you a safe space to express yourself" Brittany moves her hand from Quinn's face and takes Quinn's hands into her own.

"I know, mommy." She says so quietly. She looks down at the joined hands, Brittany smoothing her finger over the soft skin of Quinn's knuckles.

"It really hurts me to know that you don't feel comfortable talking to me. And while I can't force you too, I've always tried to make it clear that I will never judge you for whatever thoughts you're having. You know that, Quinn, I know you do." Quinn bites her lip, her body shaking with silent sobs. She knows her mom is right, but the idea of trying to relay whatever going on in her head to her mom, having the possibility to be subjected to judgement holds her back.

"Quinn, sweetheart, look at me." She waits a beat, Quinn lifting her eyes to Brittany. "I know that this separation never gets easier. You've been–up until recently– the picture perfect child. But I should have known something was up. No one is that unfeeling, not even you. I'm at fault here too." Quinn gives her a questioning look. How could her mom blame herself for Quinn's actions. She's the one who has been horrible to her family.

"No, mom, that's not it. You didn't do anything, I promise." She tries to convince her mom that she's wrong. She's already so guilty for making this harder than it should be. God, she knows that she's being overdramatic, even Rachel would be surprised.

"I might not have caused you to act that way, but I should have done more to stop it or understand it, instead of threatening to spank you, or refusing to listening to what you've been saying." Quinn nods her head in concession, but doesn't speak. Brittany for her part waits for Quinn to speak up, wanting to give her daughter the chance to say her piece and help Brittany to understand what is going on in Quinn's head. When she doesn't say anything Brittany tries again.

"My sweet girl, what can I do to help you feel less hostility towards our situation and maybe even a sense of calm?" Quinn ponders for a moment, what could she do? Her mom was already doing so much for her, she couldn't even fathom asking for more.

"No, mom, stop. You already do too much." Brittany shakes her head, she wants to work with Quinn, she wants her little girl to get to a place of acceptance within herself so that she isn't so angry. She's willing to do anything to help.

"Quinn, I want to help. It's my job as your mom to make it so you feel comfortable enough to talk to me, and to mama. But also, so you can stop acting out and be the sweet girl I know you are."

"Ok, I that makes sense. I guess something we can work on, or maybe do together is paint. Or, I don't know. I feel like you spend so much time with the other kids, I feel left out. It would be nice to get to spend time with you alone. Especially because mama isn't here, it's hard because you have less time." Brittany smiles at her encouragingly, hoping Quinn will continue. When she does, she makes sure to keep eye contact, letting Quinn know she's truly listening.

"Or when you're overwhelmed, you send me upstairs, like you don't want me around. I don't like feeling that, like I'm a burden." She continues, her voice gaining more confidence as she thinks about ways in which she could feel better. Brittany nods along, but tries to reevaluate internally all of her actions as well.

"I guess one more thing, is that sometimes it feels like you don't listen. I think an example would be, when I asked you to stop calling me Lucy, and you called me Lucy again. I really didn't like that." Quinn bites her lip in apprehension, but gives her mom a little smiles. "So, yeah. I think that's a little bit of what has been going on." She tells her quietly, her voice coming out meek.

"Thank you, sweetheart, for telling me all of that. I really appreciate being able to understand ways in which I can be better. Can I ask a few things from you, that could help us communicate?" Quinn gives her the go ahead, Brittany bringing her hand up to kiss the back of.

"So, you know how you just mentioned you don't like to be called Lucy, I think it would be good for you to help me understand why. Or, I guess more so get a better understanding of the way you feel about certain things. For instance, I didn't know the first time why you didn't like being called that. Or when you said you felt like you couldn't talk to us, why that was." Quinn mashes her lips between her teeth, waiting for Brittany to continue.

"Ok, I can try and do that. Do you want me to explain why, now?" Brittany shakes her head, giving Quinn a little laugh.

"No, baby, we can talk about that tomorrow. One more thing that could maybe help is, is when you're feeling upset, because you miss mama, or you feel alone or for any reason, please, please try and talk to someone. It does neither of us any good when you bottle it up. Don't let your feelings dictate your actions." She really tries and get her to understand the importance of letting it out. Quinn looks away, she knows she's guilty of keeping it in.

"I'll try. It'll be really hard." Brittany smiles again, leaning forward to hug her daughter, Quinn's arms hang limply for a second, before she wraps her mom up in a hug.

"I know, baby. We can talk to your mama, she knows all about bottling up her feelings. It's one of the many things that makes you two so alike, almost like you're biologically hers." Brittany's voice comes out muffled, her body vibrating with the force of Quinn laugh. She pulls back and caresses Quinn's cheek once more, planting a small peck on the crown of her head.

"Alright, my sweet girl, it definitely time to get ready for bed." Quinn nods, and stands up, stretching her arms wide in a jaw cracking yawn. Brittany stands with her, moving to turn off the lights, and gather her computer to turn in for the night.

"Ok. One last thing?" Brittany looks at Quinn expectantly. The young girl looks confident, her lips placed in a smirk. "When Stella co–" her sentence is cut-off when Brittany chuckles, she crosses her arms over her chest in annoyance.

"Yeah, sorry bub, no Stella or friends this weekend. Don't think I forgot you tried to sneak out about 15 minuets ago. You're still grounded, and an extra two days for that little stunt you tried to pull." She laughs her way up the stairs, Quinn huffing in annoyance behind her. It was going to be a long weekend.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello! If you made it this far, congrats, because I've tried to read this monster through and got bored haha! To the guest who requested this one-shot in the reviews, I hope I did your idea justice. I truly didn't know it was going to end up being 18 pages long. Anyways, if you have any other suggestions, let me know! I would love to write some more. Thanks for reading, please leave a review if you feel so inclined. Have a great day!**

 **Also: I kind of hate the end so please don't come at me, I know it's pretty terrible. And, I did not proofread this, so all the blatant typos I apologize for!**


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